Injera and Chocolate Gravy

The Adoption = Pregnancy fallacy

2012-01-28T06:00:00.000-06:00

I'm guilty.

I said it.

I maybe even blogged about it,

but I'm too lazy to go back and check now.

In adoption circles a lot of times

people compare stages of the adoption to pregnancy.

Finishing the homestudy = positive pregnancy test...

getting your referral = finding out the sex of your baby...

etc,

etc.

But it could not be more inaccurate.

I've been pregnant.

I've adopted.

(Almost) twice.

I know what it's like to go past your due date.

I know what it's like to be big and uncomfortable and

unable to sleep and have false labor and worry about taking an advil...

But here's the major difference:

During my pregnancies,

I never wondered where my baby was.

I never wondered if he/she was being fed.

I never wondered if he or she could have access to medical care if needed.

I knew they were safe with me.

I knew at the VERY MOST from my first positive pregnancy test

to the latest possible point for my child to be in my arms

was a maximum of 38 weeks (from test, not conception).

If you were pregnant and suddenly found out you had 5 more months

when you thought you had 2 months to go...

it would be quite a shock.

In adoption... it's a given.

Timelines change.

Rugs get pulled out from under your feet.

Emails come that tell you to be patient.

Waiting is part of this process.

Sudden whiplash-inducing changes are part of the process.

Dare to complain about the wait...

get pounced upon by other moms in the process

or who have their kids home

who tell you all about Sovereign timing

and patience.

So, NO.

Adoption is NOT like pregnancy.

Adoption is like...

being in a taxi in a foreign country with no way to communicate with the driver and only

a vague sketch of the place you are trying to go.

Adoption is like...

trying to go up the down escalator

but no one will move so you can get by.

Adoption is like...

being in love with children

on the other side of the world

and not being able to bring them home

until some government employee at a desk

decides to approve your paperwork.

It's expensive and hard and

frustrating and infuriating and depressing...

but we signed up for this because

these kids -

well, they are worth it all.

Every moment I spend praying,

every email I send begging for better news,

every government fee,

airline ticket, legal charges,

and

every time I start to cry

thinking of how much I miss them...

it's still worth it all.

They are worth it.

But, no...

it's nothing like pregnancy.

Light and Breezy...DIY laundry soap.

2012-01-26T18:41:00.001-06:00

We interrupt your regularly scheduled

posts that make people cry

to bring you

Chrissy's Version of Homemade Laundry Soap!

Okay...

So. There are like a million websites and blogs out there with

variations on this same stuff. Humor me. I'm proud of myself on this.

FIRST.

I bought some stuff:

I spent $16. I had some of it already - like the baking soda and essential oil.

Then... I did this:

Smells nice...

Next I thought I'd go the traditional route and stick it in the food processor.

That. Did. NOT. Work.

It made a huge mess, made a loud noise, and did not reduce the soap to small crumbs.

So... I did this:

Love my Vitamix. You need one. Yes you do.

It's my all-time favorite appliance.

THIS worked.

*Tip - adding some of the baking soda to the soap helped keep it from turning into a mushy ball and kept it all crumbly like I had hoped for!

See?

So then I started adding it all together.

Soapy goodness...

Mix, mix, mix, stir, stir, stir...

Then I added some of this...

about 1/5 of the bottle.

It's orange. It could be any scent, but I figured orange was safe for the whole family.

Then I mixed it all with a wisk, then my hands, then a spoon... just to be sure.

When I was happy with the blendedness of the whole thing...

I put it into cute jars!

Aren't they adorable?!!?

Then I took them to my new laundry area...

(Where I labeled them all cute and stuff.)

Ooohhh.... aahhhhh.... pretty!!

Another view....

Two extra bottles on the left - one is plain Borax (toilets and stuff),

the other is some extra laundry detergent.

Okay... so THEN...

I ran a load of clothes with it.

I used cold water, just to be sure it dissolved well.

I put it inside the drum of the front-loading washer -

not sure how it would work in the dispenser -

I'll try that next time.

I like it!! Everything is clean, I even washed the nasty kitchen towels and they came out smelling fresh and looking clean!

OH...

and I only used like 1/4 cup of detergent for the whole load!

At that rate I estimate that this will last me about 4 months

even with the amount of laundry I do in this house!!

4 months in a house of 9 people, for $16!

NICE!

{Ingredients}

1 box Borax

1 box Arm & Hammer Washing Soda

1 box Color Safe Bleach additive

1 largeish tub of store-brand oxycleaner

2 bars Fels-Naptha

2 boxes baking soda

Essential Oil (optional)

Separation.

2012-01-21T19:36:00.001-06:00

Separation.

I miss my kids.

I don't understand why it takes so many months to get from court to embassy to home.

I don't understand why paperwork can't get done more quickly,
why the lists of paperwork can't just be standardized so everyone knows what's required
to get our kids home.
I miss their hugs,
I miss their laughter.
I miss the horrible faces the boys made when I gave them Peanut M&M's
and the girls begging for more gum ("Mommy! Masteca! Masteca!").
I loved hearing them talk to each other with their adorable accents,
and laugh at me when I would copy their words.
I miss a sweet boy who would boot any nearby child from their chair
just so he could offer it to me and demand that I sit down.
I love how they fed me injera and held my hands.

And it just takes longer every day it seems. It takes time.

Time that is stolen from us as a family.

Time that is stolen from them as they sit in an orphanage.
It's all about the time lost...
time spent separated.

My grandfather went to heaven on Sunday.
I'm blessed to have had time in my life with all four grandparents
and even time with great-grandparents.
I know lots of people don't ever get that time.
Lots of you probably don't remember your grandparents.
I know I'm blessed to have been gifted this many years with them.
He was a writer.
He was a painter.
He was funny,
and kind,
and loving.
He taught me to type on his typewriter -
The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog.
He loved me.
I was the first grandchild.
On both sides.
I was special.

At the funeral today, my uncle was talking about my grandfather's deafness and how he never allowed it to be a handicap. He read lips exclusively and he was excellent at carrying on conversations in this way.
My uncle said that when my grandpa closed his eyes and fell asleep for the last time - it was the first time he truly felt like he couldn't talk to his dad.
Separation.
There it is again.
And oh, it hurts.

This has me thinking about our separation from God.
I think about how in each of these circumstances...
my kids on the other side of the world,
so many loved ones in Heaven
and how many of us would do ANYTHING
to bridge that separation.
There's this great, desperate NEED
to close the gap between us.
That NEED to be together again.

But we have Jesus.

He bridges that gap - allows us to be with God someday.
He gives me the hope that HE planted these children in our hearts,
and HE will bring them home to our family.
He lived in the hearts of my grandparents and assures me
that since I put my hope and trust in Him... I will see them again.
He wraps me in his arms when I am sad,
strengthens me when I am weary,
and loves me when I don't deserve it.

He eliminates ALL separation.

Photos and Words.

2012-01-18T06:00:00.000-06:00

Ethiopia.

Words don't really do it justice.

Photos don't convey the precise emotion.

A child on the street wearing rags, tugging on your shirt and asking for food...

how do you write about that and do it justice? What photo could put your heart into that moment?

A man, dying of AIDS, desperate for someone to take his twin 8-year-old daughters so that he can die knowing they are going to be okay. There aren't photos for that. There aren't words to describe the injustice of finding out, sorry - in this area, nothing can be done for children with one living parent - no matter how broad of a definition you use for "living".

My 33 pound 8-year-old son who is still in the "critical" range for his weight....

his big brown eyes looking at me and asking to go to America. Tomorrow.

Unexplained scars,

unexplained fears,

unexplained behaviors.

I can't write about it and allow you to "be there" like I was.

There just aren't the right words.

Three "big" boys who act like parents

to two little girls who have their own guarded hearts and fears.

And oh, I love them.

I love their scars,

their big brown eyes,

their quirks,

their tests of my allegiance,

their smiles,

and their temper tantrums too.

I can't write about fears I had

that were relieved. Fears and "what-if's" that turned to dust.

I can't show you a photo of my heart when I thought we didn't pass court, then we did!

There aren't pictures of the praises in my heart for a great big God who loves me and loves my kids WAY more than I can ever know.

There aren't words to describe leaving Ethiopia without my children.

Leaving a malnourished little boy who desperately wanted to come home with me...

saying goodbye- for now,

peeling a 3-year-old little girl's tiny arms from around my neck,

sobbing in the back seat of the van and announcing "It just isn't FAIR."

You could never truly understand those moments,
the pain and the helplessness, unless you've done it.

There aren't pictures that convey the sadness of sitting in the terminal in the airport

surrounded by happy people,
laughing and smiling and looking forward to getting on a plane,

and wanting to slap their silly, goofy smiles
right off their faces
because each one feels like a punch in the stomach you didn't see coming.

I wish I could describe the happiness of being home again,
seeing 8 faces who you've missed incredibly,
being glad to sleep in your bed and drink water from the tap,
but feeling like only part of your body came home with you.

Half of my heart stayed in Ethiopia and every.single.day that passes,
while it brings us closer to having them home,
it also causes a greater line between the dots on the timeline of meeting them and seeing them again.

The space between the dots...
that's the line where the prayers abound and the pain endures.

Laundry by the dozen

2012-01-17T06:00:00.000-06:00

When you live in a house that was built for the average American family size, including 2 adults and 2.5 children… there are bound to be some serious renovations necessary in order to transform that house into something do-able for a family of 14!

One of those areas in the house I have always hated the most is
my laundry “room”.

It’s a closet. With bi-fold doors.
Right next to the bedrooms on the upper level of the house.
While I first thought that having the laundry upstairs would be awesome since that’s where the clothes live, I have since decided that I need more space for the clothes that the 9 of us (soon to be 14) accumulate in a day or two.
And the folding situation… it’s horrible.

My typical laundry routine goes something like this:

1. Grumble about pile of clothes.

2. Announce implementation of naked-day if people don’t stop putting doll clothes and folded clothes they just didn’t want to put away back into the dirty clothes pile.

3. Decide empty threats don’t work, but throwing clothes into the goodwill bag does.

4. Cram as much stuff into the front-loading washer as possible, add soap and softener, press start and plan to outsource the moving to the dryer to a child in an hour.

5. Grumble because said child didn’t move the clothes to the dryer, or they set it on “touch up” instead of “high” and everything is still damp.

6. Move dry clothes into baskets for “curing” until folding can take place.

7. Threaten to kill dog when she knocks over clean basket of clothing to make her nightly “nest” to sleep in.

8. Repeat.

Clearly – not working out for me.

Insert, hubby to the rescue!!

He borrowed some tools, used some Christmas gift cards to Home Depot, and solved my horrible laundry problem!! Here are the pictures!

Before… but not really. I removed the boxes of stuff from the shelves, all of the piles off of the washer and dryer and the doors came off months ago… THEN I decided to take a photo for this little before and after story!

Then… I painted the walls inside the closet with the leftover kitchen paint, and hubby started making boxes! Once the cubbies were up, I said… “gosh, it sure would be nice to have a counter top type thing for folding clothes…” and VOILA!

Folding table!

He added some trim, we put a few coats of white paint on everything… and POOF!

Isn’t it BEAUTIFUL!!?

Thank you, honey!

A dream realized

2012-01-16T11:02:00.001-06:00

An excerpt from Dr. King's "I have a dream" speech -

"I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of interposition and nullification; one day right there in Alabama, little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.

I have a dream today."

Dr. King... you'd be welcome at my dinner table any day.

I think you'd like it here.

Thank you for fighting for the rights of children like mine.

Thank you for opening the eyes of the self-righteous, for blurring the lines between shades of skin, and for making a way for families like mine to be accepted and loved even in this broken, fallen world.

Sisters.

Ewedeshalo, Ethiopia!

2012-01-12T19:43:00.003-06:00

I'm waiting for the final leg of my trip to take me home.

It's been a long week,

but in a lot of ways - not long enough!
Here's a recap:

Friday, Jan 6th - landed in Ethiopia! The smell when I walked off of the plane and down the ramp made me smile! I'm "home"! The driver was there, Binyiam - love him... such a great guy! As we were walking to the car, he called our agency rep (in-country boss) to let him know I was there and he asked to speak with me. He says there's a problem with my paperwork, and that we may not pass court on Wednesday, but not to worry... he has the letter, the judge may just not see it in the stack of papers! Uhm... okay. I had not slept in over 32 hours... so I don't quite remember anything else he said, or what I said in return! I got to the guest house, got checked in, met Missy, Jamie and Brent... and unpacked a few things before collapsing into a mild coma-like sleep!

Saturday, Jan. 7th - Woke up when Missy came to my room to check if I was awake! I forgot any sort of time-telling device, so I never quite knew if it was time to wake up or time to try to get a few more moments of sleep, so I relied mostly on other families schedules to let me know it was wake-up time! Super fast shower, threw on clothes, ran to eat breakfast then Binyiam arrived and we drove to the care center to meet the kids!! There were 4 families total there on that day, so they took my camera and little video camera and captured the moments when I met them for the first time! It was sweet... and I don't know how else to describe it! I knew them when I saw them... I didn't want to smother them with kisses right away... but I wanted to smoosh their little faces and kiss their sweet cheeks.. and mostly, I did just that! That day also happened to be Genna - Ethiopian Christmas! They had a whole "thing" prepared at the care center so we stayed there for the coffee ceremony and a big lunch which included every part of the goat the families had purchased for the care center the day before!! Yes, they bought a goat, tied it (alive) to the roof of the van, and delivered it to them for their celebration!! It was tasty. I drank lots of coffee.

Sunday, Jan. 8th-Tuesday, Jan. 10th - Same morning routine just about every day. One family left on Monday, one other on Tuesday, but Monday night another family arrived! Each day we did pretty much the same routine, or at least *I* did. Breakfast, any errands, shopping one day, then went to the care center for a little bit and brought the kids back to the hotel to play in a smaller-scale environment. 5 kids, 1 adult, 1 driver and no seat belts or 5-point-harness carseats... I may have gone a little bit gray during those car trips!! We had so much fun at the hotel - soccer, coloring books, playdoh, snacks... it was nice to get to see them and spend time away from the other children who compete for attention. I got to see their real personalities (or as much as they will show me at this point in our relationships) and spend more one-on-one time with them than I think I would have at the care center.

Wednesday, Jan. 11- Court date! Had a hard time getting to sleep with the nervousness of the pending court date! Woke up, coffee, got dressed, ate breakfast, and waited for the driver. He arrived and the 4 families who had court the same day all piled into the van to go. Arrived at court, got the security pat-down, entered the building and found the room where we would wait. Signs on the walls in the institutional-feel room warned us all to "Silencia!" because the classroom-like waiting area was one doorway away from the Judge's office! There were many families in there. Some were from Germany, others France, one sounded British, and there were other Americans. Missy, Nicole and I prayed together as Mommies desperately in love with our children, and waited some more. Soon, appointments began. The secretary would call the name of an orphanage, and their representative would move to the door signaling them that it was their turn. Missy's kids were from a different area than the other 3 families, so she went first from our group. She walked in, I held my breath, and moments later - she walked out and they motioned to us to come! I looked at Missy and I couldn't decide if she was holding back happy tears or sad tears, so I asked her and she said "we passed!" I gave her a hug and quickly walked inside the judge's office. The "court room" is her office. There are two desks - one for the (probably) court clerk, the other for the judge. There are about 8 chairs for families to sit in, and their two desks, and the room is full. The agency rep told us to sit, and we nervously found a seat. The judge called the names of our children to verify our appointments. We answered a few questions together as a group - do we know this is final, do we approve of our children, do we agree to help them maintain their culture, etc... then she began with the other families specifically. It took just moments, and they were approved! Then she started with our case. She started off using different words, so my heart fell into my stomach. She said our paperwork was missing a document and that she would reschedule our court date for next week, but that my part was finished and correct. We would not pass court today. She specifically asked me about our other children at home, about if they were adopted or not, and if I had a job (ha ha ha..). After she did the math on how many kids we'd have she said "Whew! God bless..." (why Thank You! God has indeed blessed us!). Then we were dismissed. Suddenly it hit me that I'd be flying home without passing court and I felt the tears coming. I quickly ~~walked~~ sprinted out of the room and past the waiting families, Ethiopian nationals and police down the hall to a stairway where I felt the tears starting to fall. I couldn't breathe and my heart was racing. Why was I flipping out?? I was told to expect this... it will be okay... and then Missy came over and gave me a hug. I really lost it then. The agency representative walked over, looked at me and said "It's okay - wait here." (like I was leaving??) and he went into an office and talked to a woman at a desk. He returned moments later with a piece of paper and said "please come, we will go back!" Uhm... pretty sure you can't just 'go back' to court! But we did! He waited for the door to open and stuck his arm in with the piece of paper - it was our "missing" document. He explained to the secretary something in Amharic, and looked at me and said, "it's okay - don't cry." I think my crying made him SUPER uncomfortable. It's okay though, I was making all the other families in the room uncomfortable. ha ha! Suddenly, the secretary opened the door and said "Yes, it is Approved!" My mouth fell open and I think I may have squealed! I couldn't believe it!! You know my court story would look and sound different from everyone else's... but sheesh!! I had no idea THAT could happen!! I was so relieved and shocked and just ... EEEK!! We PASSED! I walked out of the room -now crying happy tears and practically ran back over to our group and threw my arms up and said "Approved!!!" Hugs all around, and we were done! Just amazing. God literally goes before AND after our family in this. It's just miracle after miracle!! We are so blessed!

After court, we stopped by the guest house to let families change clothes and I send my hubby a facebook message about court since it was like 2am in the USA! Got back in the car and went to the care center to see our newly legalized family members! We hung out for a little while, but had some doctor stuff to take care of , then went to the guest house with the bigger kids for a bit to play before our awful goodbyes.

Later that afternoon, when I took the kids back to the care center, I asked the nanny to translate to them that Daddy AND Mommy would be back as soon as we could, and for whatever reason, our oldest child kept telling me "March! Mommy, Daddy, Ethiopia... aeroplane America... MARCH!" Please, Lord - don't allow that sweet boy to be disappointed!

Awful to have to say goodbye for now, tears in the van, back to the guest house to get packed up.

The trip was amazing.

I do love Ethiopia...the people especially.

I miss my kids at home, and I miss my kids who are waiting there for us to return.

It's an amazing thing to have your heart broken in half and shared across two continents.

A Mother's heart doesn't divide to share with more children, it multiplies to share with them all.

Here's what you're waiting for...

some pictures!!

Arriving at the Care Center.

I'm here!!

Me and the youngest of our new 5! This was our first "hello!"

Both girls!

Group photo!

Having lunch together at the guest house!

Our last day together, but the day they became legally OURS!

Oh, my heart...

I love these kids! They are just so great!

2012...

the year I became a mommy to 12!

Amazing...

only God could write this story!

Hi from Germany!

2012-01-06T04:39:00.001-06:00

Hi everyone!

Thanks for checking in,

I made it to Germany...

with no sleep...

so I'm a little...

well, crazy.

I bought coffee, again...

so I'm sleep deprived, but very hyper..

which is always fun.

I will be taking off from here around 6am CST,

so around the time you wake up/woke up today...

and until around 3pm CST...

I will be in the air.

Ugh.

My legs hurt from sitting.

However, this morning

(while I wasn't sleeping)

I got to see the sunrise over the North Sea and the shore of England!

(Great Britain?)

It was gorgeous.

You could see a few lights still on,

the line of waves crashing on the beaches...

and the pink highlights from the sun.

Just gorgeous!

I hope to be able to check in and update you about my trip...

but if not, I will hopefully be able to post photos when I return!!

Blessings!

The day we were tarred and feathered with blessings!

2012-01-02T18:07:00.000-06:00

I've been wanting to write about this day

for almost a week...

but with the chaos of trying to pack for my

court trip (leaving THIS THURSDAY)

and, of course, also trying to organize and de-clutter the house

RIGHT this MINUTE

because, you know...

there's no better time to totally tear apart all of your closets

and re-arrange your house than 48 hours before you

leave the country. Right?

Anyway...

you probably read my last post

where I linked to all the stories

leading up to right now

in this current adoption process.

I had lots of new visitors to my little blog

because they found their way here

from a fundraiser website we had set up!

Well...

let me tell you about THAT!

I think it was Monday of last week

when a friend of mine

(who goes by Captain Murdock online)

approached me about testing out

her hubby's new website!

www.acharityproject.com

They had been trying to figure out some way to

help adoptive families, charities, and other non-profit type people

fundraise for their project or cause

by using the power of social media to draw awareness.

SURE! We'd do a test run!

I mean, we needed money...

adoption costs money...

lots of money...

and we have this pick-up trip coming in a few months

where we will need 2 round trip and FIVE one-way tickets home!

The total of those fees makes us wonder if it may be more cost-effective to charter a direct flight home...

but hey, it's a goal!

So I went to their website,

set it all up,

hit the "publish" button...

and sent a quick note saying "it's up! Looks good!".

Then...

We got a donation!

Then another one!

Then another!

And suddenly, we were up to $100 in our fund!

Then $200, then $300...

and by bedtime, we had hit $1000!!!

We were AMAZED!

It was so much fun to read comments by the people donating.

Some were anonymous,

some were funny,

some were warm-fuzzies and brought tears to my eyes.

All of them were so, incredibly appreciated and graciously celebrated over!

I barely slept!

I woke up and we had received $500 in donations overnight!

By the time my husband left for work we were up to $2000 and still climbing!

My email box was filling up with donation notifications,

people were sharing our link and blog and I was shocked and

brought to tears multiple times that morning.

Then, suddenly...there were whispers that we might

meet our ENTIRE GOAL by the end of the day.

I was almost afraid to mention that out loud!

How could that be??

We had this huge number...

but people were just dumping blessings on us

left and right!!

When we hit the half-way mark by lunch...

I thought I was going to pass out.

Multiple times throughout the day, I just stopped and prayed and just thanked

the Lord for bringing these donations to our family,

for providing our needs, for not waiting till the last possible moment to bring us the money we needed,

and for the wonderful people who believe in us and were sending us such kind words to treasure forever!

And our goal??

Well, that giant, looming mountain we were looking at...

crumbled into dust by 9pm!!

We suddenly had every penny we estimated for the trip,

and people were still donating!

Even today, we are still receiving gifts from people

who feel like our trip might require a little more than we estimated!

We are so incredibly thankful to each and every person who

blessed us with $7 or hundreds!!

The Lord took your money and multiplied it

and did a "loaves and fishes" kind of miracle

right before our eyes!!

So, to everyone who donated...

Thank you, from the depths of our hearts.

We can never adequately express how touched we are by your generosity!

To everyone who shared the link on your facebook, twitter, blog or through email...

you were a major reason why we met our goal so quickly

so thank you SO much for using your connections to help bless our family!!

To everyone who remembers our family in your prayers,

we are grateful.

Please pray for my trip...

I leave Thursday.

I am incredibly excited to meet our kiddos,

and nervous to fly alone,

and sad to leave my family here for a week.

It's such a confusing swirl of emotions!

I'm boldly asking for you to pray specifically

that we would pass court while I am there.

I know that it's rare now,

with the way the process has changed,

but I would sure love that.

(And then I could show you pictures!!)

Thank you all again!!

And if you want to see the fundraiser or read the comments..

click this link:

http://www.acharityproject.com/f/7for7tickets

Updating our story!

2011-12-27T10:57:00.000-06:00

If you have linked here from my fundraiser on A Charity Project,

thank you for visiting!!

Here are some links you may want to read to get acquainted with our story!

The story about getting started with our current adoption

From when I decided God calls the CRAZY people

Why Ethiopian adoptions are still an option

and our 2nd Adoption Timeline

I leave for Ethiopia on January 5th - arriving the night of the 6th,

and meeting our new 5 on Ethiopian Christmas - January 7th!

Melkam Genna, everybody!

I will be able to share photos of our kiddos once we pass court in Ethiopia,

but until then, just imagine 3 boys and 2 girls ages 9 down to 3,

and put enormous smiles on their faces while holding photo albums filled with

pictures of our family and promises that we are coming for them...

and you've got an idea of how precious they are!!

We are blessed that you would consider donating a dollar per plane ticket home...

just $7 from a bunch of people can be blessed, multiplied and expanded to cover

our trip home from Ethiopia with our new kiddos!!

Thank you for being a part of our story!!

Love,

Paul, Chrissy and a dozen amazing kids!

...and that's when I started to cry.

2011-12-24T13:07:00.000-06:00

I didn't think it was getting to me.

You know, not having my kids all here this Christmas.

I mean, there was never a chance they'd be home by today...

so I shouldn't have it in my head that it was ever a possibility.

Right?

But then this morning,

our two littlest girls were laying on the couch with Daddy,

talking about the new names for their brothers and sisters.

Daddy says,

"You know... Mommy is going to Ethiopia soon to meet your brothers and sisters!"

#5 says:

"Mommy's going to bring them home now!!?"

Daddy says:

"No, not this time..."

I'm in the kitchen getting ready for brunch with family

and listening to this conversation,

and trying to maintain my Christmas spirit.

Then,

she says

"Oh, that's so sad, Daddy!

They has no Mommy or Daddy in Ethiopia... that's sad."

Yeah...

...and that's when I started to cry.

That's what it is...

mindlessly putting up 14 stockings and being

lovingly reminded by my husband,

"let's just put up stockings for the kids who are here this year, okay?"

...and that's when I started to cry.

Crap, this is hard.

Being here, them there...

not wanting to be apart from either bunch of kids...

Christmas is about family.

It's about love.

It's about warm-fuzzies and

crazy relatives and

husbands cooking strange things and

egg nog in Santa mugs and

cookie baking with the kids getting sprinkles all over the place.

It's about squeals of happiness,

hymns in church,

and softly glowing trees visible through windows.

It's NOT supposed to be about having nearly half your children across the ocean.

I leave in 12 days.

And I'm spending Genna in Ethiopia with my babies.

That's Ethiopian Christmas!

I'm not totally missing it...

and I know they don't know they are missing being here.

But I know.

And it hurts.

Merry Christmas, sweet babies.

Next year.

Next year there will be cookie baking,

and candy canes in hot cocoa,

and 14 stockings by the fireplace.

And I will tuck you in,

and whisper "Merry Christmas, sweet baby."

And OH how sweet it will be!

10 for 10 (or : "But what can I do?")

2011-12-15T07:28:00.001-06:00

UPDATE:

ALL of my kids at Kechene have sponsors!

Thank you all!!

Are you a blogger who would like to advocate for these children by taking on your very own 10 Kids? Email JWilson@hopechest.org

Throughout the past few years, I have had this nagging prayer:
"Lord, break my heart for what breaks yours."
He is faithful to answer prayers...
all of them and especially this one.

I remember hearing in my heart one night,
"okay, baby girl... I'm going to break your heart for what breaks mine, but it's going to hurt. I made it the first time and I will put it back together."

The things that Jesus breaks and puts back together are better than the original.

Then...we flew to Ethiopia to bring our littlest three home.
Among the great scenic beauty and wonderful hearts of the people, we saw children on the streets, starvation, desperation, and pain. These are HIS people. His children. And they are hurting.
I saw first-hand mothers sitting on the street with their children sitting in the dirt. A child coming to the window of our car and just standing there looking into my eyes - thrilled with a handful of peanut butter candies. 3 and 4 year old children collecting water from puddles with old plastic oil bottles. I saw starvation. I saw lepers. I couldn't believe what I saw.

Broken. Shattered. Torn to pieces.

And then we got on a plane and flew home - broken for what we saw, but overwhelmed with the need.

Another blogger friend and upcoming travel buddy has begun working with Children's Hope Chest to sponsor kids at an orphanage. I've got my very own group of kids who need sponsors and I've committed to get them all sponsor families!
Okay... I've talked a lot about the why from my perspective... read on to hear Missy's heart and learn about the kids you can encourage and love from afar!
-Chrissy

Last night, my daughter fussed after I put her to bed, telling Mama that something wasn't right. I went in to check, and found a wet-diapered little girl who was trying to fall asleep in a big wet circle of spilled bottle, shirt soaked through.

I let Daddy deal with diapers and fresh PJ's while I handled the sheets.

As I tugged off the wet ones, my heart sank.

I thought of all the big wet puddles on the crib sheets in the Enat Elam video, and the newborns with bottles propped up against blankets learning to self-feed...I thought of my own two adopted babies, waiting for me in a care center in Ethiopia,

rocking themselves to sleep.

My babies.

I'll be honest. I lost faith for a moment.

The immensity of the AIDS and orphan crisis finally did what it does; it punched me in the stomach and told me that anything I can do is not enough.As I scrambled to pull myself together and manuever crib sheets around bumpers, I prayed that God would keep my candle lit. I thanked Him for fresh sheets. I asked Him to handle the dark voice that did not belong to Him and remove it from my brain.

(He did, because He does.)

I am battling that dark voice every day. We all are. The one that tells us that we are not big enough to make a difference, because the problems of this world are too overwhelming.

So we do nothing.And yet we have a responsibility as Christians. It's right here in black and white. Actually, it's in red lettering.

What EXACTLY does GOD say about our responsibility to the hungry?
To those in Africa who are "sentenced to die" by starvation?
Well, it's harsh, and you aren't going to like it. The first time I heard these words on Daily Audio Bible, I was floored:

¹¹ Rescue those who are unjustly sentenced to die;save them as they stagger to their death...

¹² Don’t excuse yourself by saying, “Look, we didn’t know.”For God understands all hearts, and he sees you.He who guards your soul knows you knew. He will repay all people as their actions deserve.

-Proverbs 24:11-12

Soul-crushing, right? So what can we do? Where is the solution for this impossible situation?After reading this post by author Tom Davis, I read his book, Red Letters. I found an answer, amidst all of the statistics that reek of death... It lies within our five small barley loaves and two small fish.

The disciple Andrew asked:⁹ “Here is a boy with five small barley loaves and two small fish, but how far will they go among so many?” John 6: 1-14
The boy had faith.
The disciples had statistics.
Don't let Satan use statistics to trick you into thinking that you should not offer Jesus your small lunch because it won't make a difference.
Have faith. Be the boy.

Ready and willing to help? Confused about what to do? I understand. I am, too. I will never fully figure this one out.How about sponsoring one? How about being the disciple who tells a lonely child of God that they are not forgotten?

The benefits of sponsorship go both ways. You and your family can write letters telling that child that Jesus has not forgotten them, and neither will you. You can back those words with a year or more commitment to sponsor them in education and health care.

You get to watch God work. And He DOES.
Want to see what your tiny fish and barley loaves can do when placed in the hands of Christ?
Want to see Jesus feed the 5,000 all over again?

Do you want to be the one to hand over your lunch while everyone else stands around asking questions?

Do you want to see what He can do with your tiny fish...

And your 5 barley loaves?

Offer it to Him.(He still puts on a show.)Why am I doing this today, when I am sure we would all prefer a nice post about homeschooling or a walk in the garden?Because I have a 6 month old, 9 pound daughter...

who will not grow up sitting in the dirt begging for water, and a son who will never beg for food.Because I have prayed and searched for the right charity to point my readers to, and I believe in this one, because sponsorship programs allow you to impact one person's life in a way that can change the future.Any of these kids could have been ours. And I mean all of ours.

These are God's kids, and they belong to all of us.We must mark the lives of the lost with the love of Jesus Christ. We must TEACH them LOVE.

These photos are the proof of lives changed through Children's HopeChest

You can be the hero by doing something that will give you more joy than you have ever known.

You can tell them you remember.

You can be the one to love "the least of these."- Matthew 25:40Today, you can a part of this miracle. The blog hosting this guest post is joining together with 9 other bloggers to find 100 children their sponsor families. 10 Bloggers x 10 Kids = 100 children.100 children loved, fed, remembered.

The children pictured below were chosen specifically for this blog.

Choose your child today, and email JWilson@hopechest.org with your child's name in order to request their sponsorship package:

~~1. Embete~~ Thank you, Rita!

2. ~~Mikias~~ Thank you Treible Family!

~~3. Dawit~~ Thank you, Bolton family!

~~4. Aman~~ Thank you Stacy K!

~~5. Medanit~~ Thank you Kim!

~~6. Lidia~~ Thank you Tisha!!

~~7. Henok~~ Thank you, Mom!! (Jeanne)

~~8. Ayenalem~~ Thank you, Beth C!

9. ~~Muluken~~ Thank you Melissa!

~~10. Tamirat~~ Thank you, Amber G!!

11. Saubers family now sponsoring - Sentaheyu! Thank you, my friend!

(yeah, I know it's 11 kids, not 10. It's going to be okay!)

I promise you, this experience will bless you 100 times more that you could EVER bless these children. $34/month = one child loved, fed, and remembered.
Are you a blogger who would like to advocate for these children by taking on your very own 10 Kids?Email JWilson@hopechest.org
-Missy

Why I've been quiet...

2011-12-14T08:29:00.001-06:00

It's just what every obsessed, email-stalking parent fears...

Moving right along

2011-12-03T06:27:00.001-06:00

I got an email yesterday

that had me smiling

for quite awhile!

"your dossier was submitted to court today".

Woohoo!!!

For those not fluent in adoption lingo...

this just means that our great big book of every important paper in our lives

has been translated into Ahmaric,

and they took it and logged it in with the court

so that they can look it over,

and assign us a court date!

Things are different this time around.

We will have to personally appear in court.

(which means we are making two trips out of the country)

So...sometime within 1-2 weeks

we should get another email

letting us know when to be there the first time.

No, we won't bring our kiddos home this time.

That will be unimaginably hard, I'm sure.

I made this awful visual aide for your viewing pleasure!

So... as you can see... we are at the beginning of this messy timeline!

Prayers appreciated...

sometimes I'm scared out of my mind,

sometimes I am so impatient I surprise myself,

and sometimes I just feel totally inadequate.

Come on court date!!

I want to go meet my babies!!!

30 Days of Thanks: Day 30

2011-11-30T11:19:00.001-06:00

I have SO enjoyed reading other 30 Days of Thanks posts here and on Facebook!

Thank you so much to everyone who played along! I hope you were as blessed by it as I was!

Day 30: I'm thankful for Adoption.

I am a Christ-follower.

I know what the Bible says.

There's more to it than James 1:27.

There's more to it than what you can find in

every verse in your concordance

that references "orphans".

You won't hear me say that all Christians should adopt.

There are plenty of other ways to "care for widows and orphans in their distress".

A few weeks ago,

we swore before a judge here locally

that we do agree to finalize the adoption of our little three,

that we would consider them as our naturally-born children,

that we would provide for them the same inheritance rights

as our other children, and that in the eyes of the law -

there would be no distinguishing between the little three and our first four.

Today, it suddenly hit me how closely this parallels our own spiritual adoption.

We were lost,

homeless,

without a future,

without hope...

and the Father chose us.

Before we could fully understand the significance...

He chose us.

Not making any assumptions about you...

but I know that

I was the "hard-to-place child".

I was the one with the "difficult past".

I was the "older child".

I was the one "prone to 'acting out'".

I was the one with "attachment disorders".

He chose me anyway.

I was the Special Needs,

the institutionalized,

the one not expected to thrive.

He wanted me anyway.

I was the child born addicted,

the one with a long line of dangerous activities,

the one without much history on paper...

HE chose me anyway.

And you know what??

I'm the Reactive Attachment Disorder child most of the time.

He loves me anyway.

And I also know I'm not God.

Not even a little bit.

Not even close.

Before you see me comparing myself

because we have adopted children and are adopting children...

it's not a comparison,

it's an example that God set forth

way before agencies

and country programs

were ever thought of.

Adoption is hard.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't hurt by comments from friends.

I'd be lying if I said I am totally at peace about

finding the money for the rest of the adoption expenses.

But I DO know that the Lord put

our previous and our present adoptions on our hearts and

we sought wisdom, and we know we are on the path He laid out for us.

And just like everything else...

I don't always have to understand it completely

to know that He isn't trying to harm me.

He isn't trying to ruin our lives.

He knows I can't live up to His example of adoption.

But, whenever you seek to do something well,

you copy the BEST example you can find.

And that's why I am thankful for Adoption.

MY adoption,

by the Father,

who chose me,

loves me,

and wanted me...

in spite of myself.

"Yet not as I will, but as YOU will." Matthew 26:39

30 Days of Thanks: Day 29

2011-11-29T16:06:00.001-06:00

So thankful for friends who

share life's journeys with us.

Friends who call out of the blue,

ones who make me laugh,

some I've never met who understand what it's like to

wait and wait and wait and wait...

and ones who love you

even when you are having a pity party

(they will even attend just to sit by you and listen).

I've got such great friends!!

Not sure how I deserve this...

but so thankful that they are there for me!

30 Days of Thanks: Day 28

2011-11-28T14:59:00.001-06:00

Thankful for the ability

to wash clothes in a machine,

put things away neatly,

vacuum our nasty carpet

with a machine,

plug things in that turn on,

and drive to a grocery store

to refill our pantry with plenty of food.

You just can't take these things for granted once

you have seen the way most of the world lives.

30 Days of Thanks: Day 27

2011-11-27T15:45:00.001-06:00

Day 27

Still super thankful to have had this day yesterday!!

And SO thankful to be HOME and NOT in the van anymore!!

Now it's time to put stuff away,

clean out the van,

go grocery shopping,

and get back to the routine of our lives

after a fun week away!

Even though the kids did incredibly well on the trip!

They are awesome travelers!!

30 Days of Thanks: Day 26

2011-11-27T15:37:00.001-06:00

Day 26:

First time seeing the ocean!!

So thankful to have this fun morning!!

Then later...

we got to visit and have dinner with one of my very best friends and her family!!

She lives in PA still so we don't get to visit often enough.

She's an incredible mom,

absolutely gifted hostess,

one of the only people to ever agree to

closing down the local T@rget with me,

and even though I have not stepped foot inside her house since

May 2008...

felt like I'd never left the moment after we hugged "hello"!

Oh, my sweet friend, I miss having you around!!

Yes, I totally stole this picture from her facebook page...
oh well. That's my sweet friend, Sarah and her family!

30 Days of Thanks: Day 25

2011-11-27T15:35:00.001-06:00

Day 25:

Thankful to have the day to relax,

let the kids just be kids,

and play outside,

some hilarious attempts

at getting the 9 of us all looking

decent for a family photo,

and a very fun evening with my

husband's parents, brothers and sister and spouses

sitting around playing hilarious games until

way too late!

It was such a fun night!

30 Days of Thanks: Day 24

2011-11-27T15:32:00.001-06:00

Day 24

THANKSGIVING DAY!!

So thankful to be surrounded by family,

tons of cousins,

plenty to eat,

a beautiful day,

and that this time next year...

I get to help my own 12 kiddos fill up their

plates and hold hands while we

thank God for our blessings!!

30 Days of Thanks: Day 23

2011-11-23T18:44:00.001-06:00

Thankful for a safe trip to visit lots of family, getting to see people we have not had much time with in years, and for kids who travel like they are professionals!!

Happy Thanksgiving Eve!!

30 Days of Thanks: Day 22

2011-11-22T09:32:00.000-06:00

Day 22:

Wow... it's almost Thanksgiving Day!!

Today I am thankful for

variety in life.

Okay, that's vague....

sorry.

Apples.

At our grocery store you can get any one (or all)

of more than 7 or 8 varieties of apples all year long.

Cereal AISLE.

That should explain that one...

but seriously, there are like 30 different types of CEREALS.

Looking at our children...

they are as different as they can be most of the time!

One loves to read,

one thinks reading is a form of purgatory.

One loves rice in all it's forms,

one other child thinks rice is toxic.

Some are peach, some are brown,

some have brown eyes, one has hazel eyes,

some curly hair, others with straight hair.

It may seem strange to be thankful for variety...

but how boring would it be if we were all the same,

had only one type of apples,

one type of cereal,

and all believed everything exactly the same??

Boring.

30 Days of Thanks: Day 21

2011-11-21T09:20:00.001-06:00

Day 21:

I woke up at 5am because of the

massive thunderstorm outside.

Lightening strikes light up the bedroom,

thunder shaking the windows,

rain beating against the side of the house.

It was a big storm!

I thought about how thankful I am

that I have this house to keep us safe.

How thankful I am that we are not living in

a tent by the river,

or huddled together in a shelter.

We are blessed

with much.

And people say "how will you fit 5 more kids in your house?!?"

Sheesh.

So what if several kids share a room?

What's the big deal??

When did it become a right of childhood

to have your own bedroom with your own TV and computer?

When did it become tantamount to child abuse to have your kids in bunkbeds?

Or sharing a bathroom? Oh the horror!!

But, that's for another day.

30 Days of Thanks: Day 20

2011-11-21T09:00:00.001-06:00

Thankful for my sweet baby girl,

who helps out around the house

way more than I probably realize.

She's responsible,

funny and so smart!

This morning she took over my job

while I was taking our oldest son to

his Ultimate Frisbee tournament.

She got the little girls

showered,

applied Babycakes,

got them dressed for church,

and even fixed their hair!

She babysits so Paul and I can go out

to dinner every once in awhile,

and so I can run to the grocery store

without lots of little hands grabbing stuff off of the shelves.

She makes us laugh,

has great taste in friends,

and she's just gorgeous

inside and out.

We love you, sweetheart!!

Thank you for all of your help this weekend!!

30 Days of Thanks: Day 19

2011-11-19T08:26:00.001-06:00

Day 19:

I'm thankful that my tacos were too spicy

for me to eat last night,

because after only two bites,

I handed my plate to my hubby

to taste (since he loves super spicy food)

and he immediately said

"those are flour tortillas".

(Insert swirl of emotions here:

anger,

frustration,

fear,

sadness....)

And (also thankful that) we were out with

my Mom and Papa and friend Natalie...

so my mom hands me 6 or 7 of these

pre-biotic capsules

which are AMAZING

and I drank tons of water

and fought off the urge to stab the

server with my fork

when he tried to apologize.

Thankfully,

I didn't get super sick.

I was itchy all over,

nauseous,

got really sleepy,

and felt drugged..

but didn't have to be up all night with

the toilet.

That's a lot to be thankful for today!!

30 Days of Thanks - Day 18

2011-11-19T08:24:00.001-06:00

I see my post didn't go through yesterday..

Day 18,

I am thankful for

my sweet hubby who

could work from home today!

Even though he's working,

I can still talk to him,

see him around the house,

and we even get to run a few errands together!

30 Days of Thanks: Day 17

2011-11-17T14:28:00.001-06:00

Day 17...

Whew.

I'm tired.

I just spent the past 4 hours going through bags and bags and bags of stuff in the attic,

sorting it by boy/girl,

pulling out the boys smaller-than-2T clothes for a family in need,

and decided...

"GOOD GRACIOUS!

I could clothe a small elementary school!!"

I'm blessed to not have to go major shopping for 7 (or 12) children at the start of every season.

I'm blessed to have friends and neighbors who give me bags

of stuff their kids outgrew that my kids think is AWESOME!

It's like Christmas day around here when I come home

with garbage bags full of "cleaned out my closets"

I wish I was more organized...

I wish The Container Store would show up

with a bull horn

and announce that they are coming to organize my life

into cute polka dot bins

with printed labels

on nice clean stainless steel shelves...

But until then,

I have a "Boys" label,

a "Girls" label,

and two GIGANTIC piles of mostly sorted

bags of clothes underneath.

And I am thankful to know I don't have to go to a mall

ANYtime soon.

30 Days of Thanks: Day 16

2011-11-16T19:10:00.001-06:00

These two little girls...

who LOVE to dress alike

and LOVE it when people think they are twins!

Well,

today at school was "twin day"!

The idea is to dress like someone else...

a teacher, a friend... plan ahead and dress like twins.

I think they are SUPER cute "twins"...

even if it's the "Irish" variety!

30 Days of Thanks: Day 15

2011-11-15T08:43:00.001-06:00

I'm thankful for Moby.

Maybe you don't know Moby...

He's our big white van.

How's THAT picture for a little perspective?!??

Moby may not be the shiniest giant van on the block...

or the newest...

or the prettiest...

but he fits our WHOLE family,

those home now,

and those who will be coming home hopefully soon!

Moby recently needed to see the doctor...

and he got new tires too!

So hopefully Moby is ready

for a long road trip!!

Thankful that we have paid-for vehicles,

and especially for Moby,

so we can all travel together!!

30 Days of Thanks: Day 14

2011-11-14T18:05:00.001-06:00

Tonight I took my 8 1/2 year old (#4)

to the store for new shoes.

He picked out a reasonable pair,

sold me on their virtues,

and the price was good.

So I showed him another pair.

They were on clearance.

For half the price.

He says,

"Yeah, Mom... these would be great instead!

I can still run and play in these... and they look like good shoes!

Thank you for finding them!"

Oh my heart.

This kid.

I tell ya...

he can drive you up a wall batty one moment,

but he has the SWEETEST heart of any child I've ever known.

And so I bought him both pairs.

Because I wanted to bless my child,

and give him a sweet gift.

Not that he deserves it,

but because it makes me happy to

do something he's not expecting,

that makes him smile.

And he thanked me profusely while we finished our errands.

Oh sweet precious boy,

I'm so thankful for YOU today!!

30 Days of Thanks: Day 13

2011-11-13T15:17:00.001-06:00

Day 13: Thankful for a great turnout yesterday at the Holiday Market where I had a booth!

We were fundraising for the adoption travel and sold babycakes

along with jars of homemade Pumpkin Spice Syrup

(for coffee or tea, or drizzling over whatever you like!)

and fresh, hot cups of Pumpkin Spice Cafe au Lait that I made,

with double chocolate chip biscotti...

AND we had some Advent devotionals for sale too!

I met some really great people, got to share about our adoption story,

and sold a TON of stuff!!

After expenses, I think we have about enough for one of the plane tickets!!

I got the sweetest card from a wonderful woman who I met a couple of years ago.

She knew I would be there and she had written the sweetest note

and gave us a very generous donation towards our adoption!

I mean, how blessed are we?!?

So many people look at us like we were crazy,

but the ones that truly "get it", they just bless my heart so much.

This wonderful woman REALLY gets it, and so does her family!

I am so thankful for you all. Thank you for loving our kiddos home!

30 Days of Thanks: Day 12

2011-11-12T04:00:00.000-06:00

I'm thankful for my appliances.

I know,

that's weird.

But last night I went to bed with my dishwasher cleaning up the

remains of the 6x batch of biscotti I made for the craft fair,

the washing machine cleaning towels,

and

the dryer getting things all dry and fluffy and smelling pretty.

I didn't have to heat the water for my shower over a fire,

I didn't have to boil it to drink it either.

I can bake cookies at a nice, even 350* without

once wondering if my power is going to stay on,

or if I need to add wood to the fire.

I plugged in the vacuum to get the carpets

fur-and-leaf-free.

I flip a switch and more food goes

down my garbage disposal than

a child living in many places in the world

was able to get to eat today.

I have machines doing my work for me,

making my life easier,

making my life prettier,

and making my life more fun...

and I'm thankful for that!

30 Days of Thanks: Day 11

2011-11-11T09:55:00.001-06:00

I'm thankful for my

friends and family

who support my

babycakes: hair and body butter

business,

tell their friends how much they love it,

re-order,

give babycakes as a gift,

and beg for particular scents to return!

It makes my heart happy when someone

emails me telling me how their

child's skin has healed,

their hair isn't breaking anymore,

or how nothing else has ever helped their

eczema like babycakes has!

I giggle when I get an order for 20 lip butters,

because I have 7 or 8 tubes all over my house too!

I love when a new friend says

"your new honey butter makes me look like

I know what I'm doing with my daughter's braids!"

And I love having all 4 burners on my stove filled up with

pots of babycakes products, counters full of waiting jars,

and orders to fill stuck to my fridge!

Thank you, babycakes friends, for blessing me

with your love for my products!!

Order your own babycakes HERE!

30 Days of Thanks: Day 10

2011-11-10T07:08:00.000-06:00

Day 10

I'm thankful for my husband's job.

Yeah, he travels quite a bit,

and his crackberry is practically part of his hand,

but we pay our bills (mostly) on time,

we have food in the fridge,

and in the pantry,

and on the counter,

and in the couch cushions for that matter.

The lights are on,

I slept with my electric throw

keeping me toasty last night,

my kids took showers this morning,

we have a nice home that keeps us safe and dry,

and two paid-for cars to drive around,

one of which has seats waiting for our newest 5!

With gas in the tanks, too!

We live within our means,

don't need to rely on credit cards

(which is good since we don't have any!!)

and have many things that we want, not just NEED.

His job has him doing what he loves to do,

working with some really great people,

and they really love him too!

We are thankful that he has this job,

especially when so many people

aren't doing what they love

or working in their field.

I love you, honey!

30 Days of Thanks: Day 9

2011-11-09T07:15:00.002-06:00

Today I am thankful that

I do not personally know

or have physical access

to whoever thought

that stupid

Daylight Savings Time

was a good idea.

Fall back??

Yeah,

I have 3 kids that

CAN'T TELL TIME!

That imaginary "extra" hour of sleep?

Yeah. Right.

It left our house to go play poker

with the Easter Bunny and the Loch Ness Monster.

On another note...

I'm thankful that

at some point in time

my youngest three children

will become teenagers.

They will want to sleep all day.

I will happily wake them up

EACH

and

EVERY

morning...

laughing,

and laughing and laughing...

and reminding them of the days

that they said things like

"Look! The sun is still sleeping!"

and how excited they were to go outside

at 6am.

Don't worry sweets...

in about 10 years,

on a Saturday,

I'm going to need your help

cleaning out the garage

at 6am.

Love,

Mommy

30 Days of Thanks: Day 8

2011-11-08T15:22:00.004-06:00

Day 8: I'm thankful for my "fruity" friends! :)

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness,

faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law."

I have so many wonderful friends!

Friends who make me laugh,

who hold me accountable,

who support my family,

who love our kids,

who pray for us daily,

and

who I can call when I just need to scream!

A true friend is very hard to find.

I am blessed.

One such friend has been an encouragement to me this week!
It's been kind of a challenging day here, but then when I remember how sweet this is...
it makes my heart smile!

If you would like a new calendar for 2012...
this one is really cool and will help us with travel!

Calendars for a Cause!

30 Days of Thanks: Day 7

2011-11-07T05:00:00.000-06:00

Thankful for my wonderful siblings!
I have five...
and then five more through marriage!
My sister Melissa takes gorgeous photos
and blogs her life HERE

Isn't she beautiful!?

There are these sisters too:

Okay, so one of them is my only Brother.
He plays Major League Baseball.
Ha!! Love you, Will...

They are all grown up now... but that is still how I picture them.

I'm the oldest, you know.

They will probably always be those ages...

until they are married and have their own kids...

then MAYBE.

We will see.

I have another sister who doesn't have pictures online...

but I'm thankful for her too!

It's a funny thing to be the oldest sister.

I have this protective-parent kind of perspective...

watching them grow up,

being proud of their achievements,

proud of their personalities,

proud of their choices.

I think it helped prepare me for being a Mommy.

So, for my little brother and sisters...

I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH!

I'm SO proud of you all!

Melissa... you are a GREAT wife and mommy!

I love your gorgeous smile and laugh!

I also love your sense of humor and

your dedication to making your home a beautiful place to be!

I wish you would fly here and make my house pretty! :)

Cass...I see you every day in Sam! :)

I love your heart!

You make me laugh when you tell old stories and

I'm so thankful that you love all of my kiddos!

Will... You've been a great role-model for my boys and a wonderful Uncle,

even if you did get a really early start!! So proud of your dedication

and I can't wait to watch you walk out on the field in the MLB!

Gigi... Gorgeous baby sister... you are such a strong person and

I'm so impressed with you for working hard and

not letting anything get you down!

You are brave and tough,

but I've seen your heart turn to mush and I love that part too!

Grace...Beautiful girl...you are growing up so fast!

You are so smart and independent and I just know you are going to do great things some day!

30 Days of Thanks: Day 6

2011-11-06T05:00:00.000-06:00

Day 6: Thankful for Coffee. Thank you, Ethiopia.
I think "Cappuccino Maker" is making it onto the Christmas Wish List.

30 Days of Thanks: Day 5

2011-11-05T05:00:00.000-05:00

Day 5: So thankful for access to medical care

Nearly 2 years ago I had an abscessed tooth.

If you have ever had one of those,

you are cringing right now in sympathetic pain.

It was without a doubt WAY worse than labor pain.

It did not end, there was no pain killer that would make it go away.

Drugs with narcotics... nope. Still there.

I wanted to take a hammer and whack the tooth out of my mouth.

I didn't...

but I wanted to.

It was (of course...) on a weekend

when my parents (with the dental office) were out of town.

Monday arrived, and a friend came and drove my chipmunk-cheeked self

to the dentist where I have NEVER been so thankful

for a syringe-wielding dentist in my LIFE.

Also recently, my hubby has had to work through an illness.

It's the typical coughing mess that's going around,

but for him... it got worse and he needed a prescription and an inhaler

so he could talk and breathe at the same time.

It took 5 minutes to get an appointment, 4 minutes to drive to the office,

and 30 minutes later, he had 2 rx's in hand.

We dropped them off at the pharmacy less than 3 miles away

and had his medications shortly after that.

When I consider that one of our sweet baby girls

has latent malaria and I think about how

she must have suffered...

about how she witnessed the death of family members

who died from (likely) the same disease

that is completely preventable with cheap pills

and treatable with cheap antibiotics...

it makes me so angry and sad.

We are so blessed that we have the ability to complain

about our insurance costs, our treatment options, or the price of our co-pays.

And I, for one, am thankful to have these medical resources at my fingertips!

30 Days of Thanks: Day 4

2011-11-04T05:00:00.000-05:00

Day 4:

I'm thankful for these handprints

of our sweet kiddos who are still waiting!

I know, I can't hardly believe how precious this is either!!

A sweet friend I've met through the process of bringing our newest kiddos home visited them in August
(well, her own kids too...
they just happen to be at the same place as ours!).
She brought me back photos,
videos and perhaps one of my most treasured items...
these hand tracings!

My kiddos touched these pages and held their little hands still while
they were traced onto these pages
for their Mommy and Daddy to have!

I sometimes go put my hands over theirs and just smile...
I think I can almost feel their hands
in mine.

Oh, so thankful today for Kimberly who is
currently in ET for court...
and a little jealous too since they are
breaking land speed records in their adoption process!
Blessings and prayers that you hear
those magical words at Court..
"They are YOURS!"

*Update: They passed court for their twins!
Hoping they pass shortly for their older boy too!
Congratulations!!

30 Days of Thanks: Day 3

2011-11-03T05:00:00.000-05:00

DAY 3: I'm so thankful for all these kiddos,

and their 3 brothers and 2 sisters still waiting!

How blessed am I that I get to be the Mommy to 12 kids??

Really... I never would have imagined my life turning out this way...

and it's so much better than my plans!

I LOVE these munchkins!!

Here's some pictures:

Outtakes from our family photo self-portrait session...
Paul LICKED me.

Me and the older two girls see a wasp.

The little girls see the wasp...

AND all the girls freak out.

THERE we go! Much better!

30 Days of Thanks - Day 2

2011-11-02T05:00:00.000-05:00

Day 2: So thankful for this guy!

He took this picture just for #6 who LOVES it
when he wears a suit!
She was so excited to see this picture!

OLD picture...
can't find a recent couple-shot!

In uniform ;)

He makes me laugh,

loves me on my worst days,

makes me want to be better,

and COME ON...

what kind of man

wraps his heart around 12 children?

We've been married 16 1/2 years.

Really!

And I love him more today than I did then.

Which, of course, I didn't think was possible.

But it's true!

Honey,

Thanks for being the best husband for me.

Thanks for working SO hard,

for not giving up on me,

I love you!!

30 Days of Thanks: Day 1

2011-11-01T05:00:00.000-05:00

Day 1

A lot of years ago, I thought that

"being a Christian" was about

following rules,

walking down front during the 4th chorus of
"Just As I Am",

saying a prayer,

and not messing up too much.

Today,

I don't identify myself as a "Christian"

because of all of the presumptions placed on that word.

No,

I'm a Christ-Follower.

I give praise to the One

who pulled me out of the darkness

where I thought I was living life

and brought me into His light

where I can thrive,

and grow,

and really live out the
calling HE placed on my life

with real LOVE

and GRACE

and HOPE

and MERCY.

He thought I was worthy,
and he died for me,
and the very least I can do
is LIVE for HIM!

Day 1: I'm so thankful for Jesus and the honor it is to call myself a Christ-follower!

P.S. If you are playing along,

leave your blog link

(or whatever you wrote on facebook, wherever)

in the comments so we can come see your posts!

The Christmas Plan

2011-10-28T06:00:00.000-05:00

I love Christmas!

I love the trees...

the lights...

the cookies...

the music...

the weather...

the 25 Days of Christmas movies...

reading the Christmas stories in the Bible...

the happy faces all around...

the time with family...

and yes... the gift giving too!

I just love the "season"!

I do NOT love materialism.

How can I mesh those things together?

How can I "do" Christmas in our family,

with little kids who never knew a Santa who filled stockings,

and who may wonder why he only ever visits rich kids??

Well, after much thought and deliberation last year...

this is what we did and plan on doing again:

My sister mentioned she was doing Christmas gifts for her children

(currently one adorable baby girl) in the following categories:

Something to wear,

Something to read,

Something you want,

Something you need.

We loved that, so we slurped it up and made it our own!

And Santa...

well, he fills stockings at our house!

Stockings are always a favorite!

And you know what?

It was so fun!

We didn't obsess about making sure everyone received

an even amount of stuff...

or that everyone got something similar in $$ value...

we just had fun filling in the blanks of our list!

This year, we will miss celebrating with our new kiddos.

We will be thinking of them,

wondering how they will celebrate, and

praying that it's not much longer till we are all home together.

I hope to send them a small something with another travelling family...

some new photos for their albums,

maybe a small toy and new crayons.

And I will sit there on Christmas morning...

drinking my coffee in my pajamas...

Smiling at my hubby and kids...

snapping photos...

and holding back happy tears

as I picture what NEXT Christmas will bring!

My baby turned 3!

2011-10-26T12:36:00.001-05:00

Saturday was my baby boy's birthday!

He's "flrwee" (three) now!

We gave him my grandmother's birthday because

she's wonderful, and strong and just an amazing person...

and it's a small way to honor her!

Here's what we did that day

(after we dosed everyone up on cold medicine):

Group photo... our kiddos plus one!

Brothers... they are so stinking cute!

Trying to help him get the biggest pumpkin possible!

She was DETERMINED to get this one!
We said they could get what they could carry!

What's with that smile??

He found a 3-year-old sized pumpkin!

Somebody LOVES her Daddy!

How did he get this big? And handsome??
I miss those chubby baby cheeks...

Giant slides

Kid-sized hamster wheels

I need a few of these in the yard, please.

He loved feeding the tiny ponies!

Gorgeous baby girl, no... I'm not bringing home a bunny.

Another first? First bunny in her lap!

Happy Birthday, baby boy!!

You sure are getting big!

You make us smile

and YOUR smile

can get you out of just about any trouble you get into!

We love you so much!!

And Granny...

What would I do without you?!?

Who would I BE without you?

I'm so thankful that God gave me you.

You who knows me so well,

and loves me anyway,

encourages me to be who Jesus made me to be,

and who taught me to make Chocolate Gravy.

And Red Velvet Cake.

And Biscuits.

And playdoh.

And how to sew.

And how to arrange wildflowers.

And a million other things!!

I love you so much!!

Happy Birthday!!

A Month of Thankful Hearts!

2011-10-20T14:15:00.003-05:00

I LOVE November!

You wanna know why??

Sure you do..

you came here to read whatever I'm typing...

right??

Great!

November is the month of Thanksgiving!!

A few years ago,

I started this thing on Facebook where I

began posting one thing per day that I'm thankful for.

It was simple..

a month of thanksgiving and praises.

Then I noticed people caught on!

Other people were talking about being thankful too!

Then last year, LOTS of people were writing

all month long about being thankful!!

It's SO fun to read little notes,

little things all month long

that make people smile!

Some are silly...

(usually mine)

"I am SO thankful for my coffee maker."

Some are serious and thought-provoking...

"I am thankful for unanswered prayers."

SO, dear bloggy friends...

THIS year,

I have a challenge!

Would you like to join the fun??

Here's what we are going to do:

Post one thankful thought per day!

Each day, for all of November!

You can use Facebook, Twitter, your blog...

take photos, write something long, write something short..

in essence...

FLOOD the web with thoughts from grateful hearts!

My thought is,

you just CAN'T spend a whole month

trying to identify something to be thankful for every day

and not have a change occur inside your heart!

As Junior Asparagus says...

"A thankful heart is a happy heart!"

So what do you say??

Wanna play along?

Leave a little note letting me know so I can

follow along with your month of thanks, too!!

Don't you just love a good fortune cookie?

2011-10-16T16:11:00.001-05:00

Connected by DROID on Verizon Wireless

The story

2011-10-07T12:18:00.000-05:00

Once upon a time,

there were two really cute kids.

And they decided to

~~play house~~ get married.

Then there were babies...

the first four came one at a time...

then three came at once.

Then God said...

"I'm not finished yet."

Chrissy began to pray for direction...

Paul began to pray for wisdom...

they both tried to figure it out alone.

The calling had already been defined...

the location was the mystery.

Chrissy gave God lots of parameters,

and God said...

"You're so funny when you say stuff like that!"

Then one day, Chrissy got an online message that said:

"So, your family has a heart for siblings."

Then, there was a photo in the email box.

A photo of FIVE precious, gorgeous children

who need a Mommy and Daddy.

Chrissy made a phone call and sent an email.

And her sweet hubby said "Sounds like fun!"

And at that precise moment,

the Father of Lies set his eyes on this family.

What happened over the next few weeks...

the details are too many,

the pain is too great,

the privacy should be protected...

but suffice it to say,

We had unknowingly entered into a battle we hadn't prepared for.

As the difficulties mounted,

we began to see less light, less hope, less possibility...

and more despair, more inabilities, more weakness.

We weren't seeing how this was possible.

Until, Monday morning when the worst decision needed to be made.

To walk away from the precious babies we had chosen.

I thought my heart had been ripped from my chest.

This is where I thought the story ended.

I literally felt rejoicing from the enemy.

He had won.

But just like that moment when he thought he won

when Christ was on the cross...

Ohhhh...

did he ever underestimate

MY God.

Over the next few days,

much prayer, much mourning,

many tears, many hurts,

great confusion

and

sadness reigned.

And at the moment when all hope was lost...

the Creator walked right into a hotel room

in another state and grabbed my husband

by his fragile heart

and molded it, changed it,

and declared it GOOD.

And JUST LIKE THAT...

the man who has loved me through some of my yuckiest,

messiest, meanest, saddest, happiest days...

opened his eyes

and realized his heart had changed.

He wanted our children in our home

with a fierce, fatherly devotion

that I couldn't create for him.

The next morning,

he emailed the agency,

asked for permission to bring our babies home

and they said YES!

Oh, and THAT'S the point at which he told ME

about this whole God-transformation!?

So, sweet blog-readers, friends, family...

Our family is "expecting"!!

We are expecting challenges,

difficulties,

great joy,

great struggles,

financial miracles,

lots of noise,

a van-full of kiddos,

and a great number of people who will

NEVER understand our hearts this side of eternity.

Pray for them...

pray for us.

Pray for the right words to speak when people DON'T understand.

Pray for our family to be a light on a hill.

I don't want the world to see our adoption and

MISS that it is ALL about Jesus!

Yes, we will need money.

We will have to travel TWO times to Africa.

But the very IDEA of being even remotely CONCERNED

about that right now... well, it's just LAUGHABLE!

Once upon a time,

God gave us a calling.

Please don't miss that this is about Him.

We are so blessed to be on His journey!!

Fireflies

2011-10-05T04:00:00.000-05:00

I feel like I'm always the one to see the first lightening bug of the summer.

I claim it every year, for what it's worth.

I remember when I was a kid at my grandmother's house,

running around in the dark, barefooted

in the sticky summer evenings .

You hold your jar, with the lid barely twisted on - holes jabbed for air

waiting for the tiny bright light to shine.

Then suddenly - you see it!

You take off running in that direction

hoping to get to it in time for the next flash

so you can capture the tiny light and save it in your jar.

I'm in that type of dark night right now.

I'm disoriented,

thinking I'm going to step on something slimy,

and desperately searching for a little flicker of light.

That darkness closes in with hateful comments

or absences of friends

and I find myself forgetting how to breathe.

"How did I get here??" I wonder...

Isn't there a magic pill or something?

Then today I saw some fireflies.

Kids being kids,

making me laugh - and just for a moment -

feeling almost normal.

A few emails from strangers who know where I am,

who have been here before,

and who offer support.

A call from a friend,

who didn't know what to say,

but gave me permission to ask for the moon

if it would help me heal.

Taking my daughter to meet her hero, Katie from Uganda,

getting her autograph inside her new book,

and hearing my baby girl say to Katie,

"My friend Abby and I want to be missionaries and live in Africa someday!"

And finally, the selfless love of my Mom and Papa.

The kind of love that makes you forget all your words.

(and I ALWAYS have words.)

The kind that makes you confused and disoriented,

and just so blown away by generosity and love and just...

the faith that they have in YOU and who you are,

not sure if you deserve it, but it's THERE.

And it just makes your heart melt into a puddle

and cry tears of gratitude to the God who put this man in your life -

one you didn't think you wanted,

who you didn't think wanted you,

but who demonstrates his fierce love in such a rough-around-the-edges

but smooshy-like-a-puppy-snout kind of way...

how could you be anything but

completely humbled by that kind of love??

Weary and still confused, I can now look down at the end of this day...

muddy, messy, smelling like outside-in-the-summer and completely worn out,

to see that my little jar of "lightening bugs" is glowing and I can see my dirty toes.

And suddenly,

I think I might be able to see my way back home after all.

Help turn mourning into joy

2011-10-03T10:45:00.000-05:00

Update!!
If you linked here to find out about the sibling group of 5 precious kiddos...

Guess WHAT??

They are OUR precious kiddos!!!

God did an amazing thing in our lives... just amazing!

I will share the story soon...

but for now, be content with this:

"You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing!

You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy,

that I might sing praises to you and not be silent!

O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever! (Ps.30:11)

My birthday weekend of fun!

2011-09-28T10:32:00.000-05:00

This past weekend I had the opportunity to attend the Empowered To Connect conference put on by Show Hope here in Nashville! It was AWESOME!

My weekend started on Thursday! Woohoo!

Around noon on Thursday, I got to meet - in person - one of the few women who knows me better than I know myself. I know, strange statement, right?

Almost two years ago, when we began the process to adopt our littles, I "met" Jamey - of Zehlahlum fame. I pounced on her on Facebook and we began "talking" via internet messages. She was there when we didn't pass committee for our babies. She was there when we did. She was there when I thought for sure our paperwork was NEVER going to make it to Ethiopia and when it finally did. She was there when I was scared of almost doubling the number of kids under this roof, and I was there when her life was changed and their daughter came home. I have prayed and prayed for this woman, her family, her sanity, her bank account, her children... and then I prayed for all those things some more. I've been that idiot with the cliche' platitudes, and I've tried my hardest to cheer her up on her bad days. I've mourned with her, and laughed so hard my stomach hurt. She's done all those things for me too... and then some. She's listened to me sob on the phone and she's brightened up more days than I can count.

And on this past Thursday... I finally got to hug her neck at the airport!

Yes, Mom, Melissa and Granny... there was a brief moment when I thought... "Uhm, Chrissy? Are you really about to go pick up a stranger at the airport and put her into your car with your precious little boys? What if she's an internet stalker and the past almost-2-years of our "friendship" she's just been gaining my trust so that she can fly here and harvest my internal organs?"

Then I realized, this is NOT a made for TV movie.

So... I drove up to the Arrivals section at the airport, immediately spotted her, threw my van into park, jumped out and ran around to give her a giant hug!
Then we got in the car and it was...
not weird.
And not awkward.
Sorry to disappoint.
It was like we had been hanging out all the time, like she lives next door and like I've known her for years.

Airport sign, in my kitchen.

A few of my kids call her Zoe. It's a dumb story but basically - they didn't understand what I said when I said I was talking to Jamey - thought I said Zoe.. then it just stuck.

We hung out at my house (I obsessively checked the time every 5 minutes waiting for 4pm when the littler kids get home so we could leave the big kids in charge while they waited for Dad to come home from work). I packed my bags (and still somehow didn't pack what I wanted to bring). We ate chips and cheese (which was a first for Jamey, weird - right?). We ate chocolate. We acted like we hang out all the time. I mean, I let her in my UPSTAIRS. Seriously. I never let anyone come upstairs in my house because they see the MESS!! She was at my house like 5 minutes and we were hanging out in my bedroom packing my suitcase.

Finalllllllllllllllllllllly 4pm came. The littler kids got home, I had a mini-family-meeting on the couch instructing them to be good, do chores, and maintain calm until Dad got home. Then... we left for our hotel!

Yes... I was as tired as I looked...thanks for asking.
This is me...finally leaving the driveway on our way!

We got checked in, went down two wrong hallways looking for our room, found our room, dropped our stuff, jumped on the beds, talked for a bit, and decided to go eat dinner before picking up Captain Murdock and her friend from the airport!

The 4 of us hung out that night, talked and talked and talked... then went to bed.

Friday morning was day 1 of the Empowered to Connect conference so we got dressed and went to Starbucks. Of course we did.

The conference was amazing, I learned SO much, I wrote till my hand cramped and tried to soak everything up like a sponge that I could wring out over my children's heads when I got home.

Stolen photo from my friend Amy, at With Fear and Great Joy

I met friends from online (Hi Erin and Mary Beth!) and made new friends too!

I ran into my favorite social worker, Stephanie, and her fellow staff members!

We left for lunch and came back to soak up more.

That night a group of us met and hung out in the hotel atrium for awhile, then went to dinner. I totally messed up and forgot to let Mary Beth know that we were leaving the hotel and she showed up after we left. SO, so sorry MB!! We would have loved to have you with us! I just forgot!

Saturday was much like Friday... more soaking up information, writing fervently, laughing at Jamey, elbowing each other at the good parts, etc.

Oh... and it was my birthday. I turned Schmirtyschmive. We aren't talking about it.

Back at the hotel, my sweet hubby had delivered a birthday basket complete with balloons, awesome Happy Birthday tiaras and horns for all 4 of us! Aren't we adorable?

We went out to dinner, talked some more, heard each others' hearts, heard hope where there wasn't any, laughed a lot, and had enjoyed my free birthday cake for dessert!

Saturday night was sad too... because Jamey was leaving early the next morning to go back home, far far away, back to her family. Sad. She needs to move here.

Dear US Government... I know you want to start some sort of super awesome thingy here that needs someone with the exact skill set that only Jamey's hubby has... and soon. Right?? Let's get right on that, okay?

We talked some more... stayed up late... said our goodbyes to the sleepy Captain Murdock and friend... and went to bed. Because 5am is early on a Sunday, y'all.

I drove Jamey to the airport, told her how thankful I am that she's not an axe murderer, and how thankful I am that she got to come for the conference in my town!!

Then, I called my hubby to tell him I was coming home.

A couple of things I learned this weekend:

Empowered To Connect, Show Hope, Dr. Karyn Purvis and all... they are incredible. If you have the opportunity to go to this conference and you have a child or work with children... GO.
Jamey is hilarious, not an axe-murderer, and she's deathly afraid of turtles.

I rescued him from being hit by a car,
tried to give him to Jamey,
but she shrieked like a little girl.
Here he is in the floor board of the van.
She made me free him by the hotel.
I wanted to let him live in the garden atrium at the hotel.
He would have liked that more.

Captain Murdock is also very funny, wise beyond her years, and she could probably fit in your pocket.
Adoption people are like family. No matter if you've only ever "met" through email or a blog comment or two, we are all just kindred spirits. We just "know" each other.

She's 10!

2011-09-19T10:31:00.002-05:00

She's 10 years old today.

How did a decade fly by so fast??

She was a baby like...

yesterday.

She was our little glo-worm,

sitting in a sunny window

with her bili-blanket under her tiny onesie.

Then, I blinked.

Enough with the blinking.

No more blinking.

She's 10

and she's...

athletic shorts every day

neon green Converse hi-tops

playing in the mud

climbing trees

movies and her snuggie

puppies and kittens

talks loudly in her sleep

wishes for a puppy poster & an iPod

and she's my little girl!

Now she's double-digits...

two high-five's...

well over half-way through her childhood.

But, she's growing up well.

She's turning into a beautiful young lady -

inside and outside both.

She helps around the house -

many days I couldn't do it without her!

She is a complete type-A in a tiny package!

We joke that once she discovers Excel documents -

she will have the whole world

organized into nice tidy spreadsheets.

With pie charts.

And bar graphs.

Oh, baby girl... I just love you so much!!

Slow down a little, okay?

Happy Birthday, sweetheart!

I love you a million tons!

-Mommy

But ALL the other kids...

2011-09-09T08:55:00.000-05:00

Dear sweet children,

I feel as though this conversation may be sorely overdue. See... I have always assumed our parenting style left no doubt in your minds as to the fact that we do not particularly follow along with the status quo when it comes to how we raise you, what values we maintain, our lifestyle, where we spend our money, and the environments we will allow you to be an active part of. I assumed that the multiple conversations over the years would have written upon your hearts and heads the type of people we expect you to become.

However, as you have recently informed me...you wish to do things the way "all the other kids" are doing them. When I say you are not allowed to participate in a certain activity, go to a particular sleep-over, or listen to particular music... the appropriate child-living-under-our-roof response should be "Yes ma'am." NOT "UGHHH!!! BUT, MOM! ALL the other kids are allowed..." because that's one sure-fire way to ensure that you are NEVER allowed permission for said activity in the future.

Beloved, if you are hoping that appealing to my parental version of peer-pressure is going to sway my values over to the dark side, you are sadly mistaken.

If anything, your informative whining does nothing more than assure me that we are on the right path!
Therefore, I thank you for your input!

As for the no-boyfriends-or-girlfriends rule... yeah, it's unpopular. But, know what else? It removes unnecessary pressure from your lives. Blame it on mean ol' mom and dad. "Sorry, super cute girl... I can't 'go out with you'... my parents are horrible fun-suckers." Do it. I don't care. See, here's the difference between being a kid and being an adult: Kids care what their friends think. I care what Jesus thinks.
Personally, I don't think your sweet, tender hearts can handle the pressures of teenage dating. I think the earlier you start 'going out with' someone, the earlier you begin to move up the relationship ladder into areas you are unprepared to enter.

I know your friends are all "in love with" their boyfriends and girlfriends, this week. Then they will be "in love with" another one next week. But babycakes, here's the thing: That's not LOVE. Until you are willing to clean up the other person's puke, put yourself into mortal danger for their safety, trade places with them to keep them from the worst pain of their lives, or worse... choose to love them when you don't like them very much... you don't know LOVE and you shouldn't toss that word around. It cheapens it and it's wrong.
God is love, teenage feelings are attraction or fondness. You can like someone, think they are a decent example of the type of person you may love someday... but you don't love them in the way God designed love.

Yeah, I know... we are a bunch of fun-suckers. You will get over it. And someday, you may even thank us for it.

I love you too much to allow you to settle for what the world calls "good" when I know that what God has designed as "best" is waiting for you around the corner.

Love, Mom

Crrrr shhhhcrrrr krackle krackle crrrrrr

2011-09-07T13:31:00.001-05:00

Ever have one of those ~~days WEEKS~~ MONTHS where you have
something stirring around that needs to be said...
but no way to actually SAY it...
yeah.

Me neither.

I know there's this really great, inspiring, thought-provoking, slightly amusing blog post in there - -
crying to get out...

but for today.

I've got nothing.

Except...
I really like these rain boots:

PS - if you linked here from Katelyn's Fund blog...

I'm usually much more eloquent than this! :)

Thank you for visiting! I'd love it if you would click "follow"..

things will only get better from here!

OOOh... OR - go click the page "Posts I want to read again"

for some better stuff!

Blessings!

little boxes

2011-09-01T09:04:00.001-05:00

I think God is working on me in the

faith department.

If you read my post yesterday,

you read about our washing machine

incident, and the repairs.

Well, three loads later,

all is well and the seal held!

Today, I read a line from a friend:

"The reason so many people have rejected Christianity,

is that they have been offered such a small god,

through the life example of the christian sharing."

Maybe it's having 7 kids at home...

Maybe it's my weird ability to think in movie quotations...

but my first thought was a line from Disney's Aladdin.

The Genie is telling Aladdin about being a genie and he says:

"PHENOMENAL COSMIC POWER...

itty bitty living space!"

I wonder if that's how God feels sometimes.

In our lives, we have this amazing ability to

tap into the most phenomenal cosmic power...

but we keep God in this little box we pull out

on Sunday mornings and holidays.

Or when we are afraid.

Or when we are scared.

Or when we need something.

Or when we can't figure out any other way out of a problem.

Or when our team is about to take the field.

Maybe American Christians do treat God like a Genie in a lamp, after all.

Maybe the reason we have such little faith

is because we have not allowed the God who

created everything out of nothing

to take our dumpy little lives

and create something AMAZING!

Maybe if we were expecting the AMAZING

instead of limiting God

to some warm fuzzy feeling we get during worship

or a cliche punchline on TV...

maybe then we would

have our whole world rocked

by what He can do when let out of that little box!

I've chosen to expect something AMAZING.

I've chosen to live expecting to see what the Lord

does in my life and have my jaw drop open,

eyes wide and say

"WHOA!! Did you SEE THAT???"

What awesomeness are YOU expecting to see?

another good option to help with the African food crisis

2011-08-27T08:00:00.001-05:00

Hi friends,

This is Shonda from God Will Add. Chrissy has kindly let me take over her blog to tell you about an awesome Baby Shower like none other. A couple of my friends have teamed up and we're trying to raise funds for an organization called FOVC. They help provide aid and hope to the immediate areas where our kiddos are from, an area that has been hit hard by this horrible famine.

Shameless plug: Will you hop on over to my shower? I promise I won't make you smell mystery diapers and no I won't let you wrap toilet paper around my abdomen.

For $13 FOVC can feed one starving child for one month. So far, this shower has raised $710. If you're amazing at math like myself, you know that 54 kids who didn't have food today, will have food tomorrow and for the next month because of the generosity of a select few. Wow! Can we make it 100 kids? Will you please help me spread the word?

Why?

Of all the great charities out there, why have I chose to rally behind FOVC? A few simple reasons:

1) There are a lot of other great charities that are working to fight this famine, and I (despite my cynicism of big organizations) have supported them. But FOVC is the only NGO working directly in the areas my boys are from, and where their first families still live. Even if I liked nothing else about FOVC, this one simple fact would make me want to support them. Thankfully, there are lots of other things I like about them:

2) They are a very small grassroots organization and very conservative with their money. All their workers are volunteers, and they do all their traveling on their own dime, which means all the money we give goes directly to feeding the kids and helping their community fight poverty with long-term goals in mind.

3) I have a close friend who has done aid work with them in Ethiopia (and is on her way back in a few weeks), knows many personal details about how they operate and spend their money. She's a Dave Ramsey fiscal conservative like myself, and she fully endorses them. They have an independent bookkeeper who verifies that over 96% of the funds go directly to Ethiopia.

4) Directly from the president of FOVC: "We have an amazing team of volunteers! Our board members and officers (if I do say so myself) are doing outstanding work! We spend a lot of time and effort educating ourselves on best practices of economic development (it's what my husband does!) and strive to implement every program using best practices. This means we empower, not enable. Every effort we undertake is aimed at offering long-term sustainability, success...and HOPE

Have I convinced you they're great?

Click here and support them:

And then (this part is optional), click here and tell MB how excited you are about his arrival into our family.

attacked.

2011-08-24T09:10:00.010-05:00

I read a lot of adoption stories.
A lot of them.
It intrigues me what motivates other families to bring children into their homes, what their process looks like, how they meld together once home, the struggles and successes of their journeys and their similarities or differences to ours.

I have been asked quite a few times lately about adoption in general, about getting started, and about what to think about ahead of time.

My biggest warning isn't about birth order, agencies, country programs, fear of social workers, or even attachment.

My biggest warning has been the spiritual attacks that inevitably come.

Honestly, friends... I think the other issues are workable. You can ask friends what agency they used. You can read review websites, discern which country program is best for your family, read tons of books on attachment, and scrub your baseboards before your social worker visits (or, not...).

But there is no amount of preparation or planning that can effectively ready your heart for a spiritual attack.

Know why?
Because the Enemy strikes at your heart.

He knows your fears... he put them there.
("For GOD has not given us a spirit of FEAR, but of power and love and a sound mind." 2 Tim 1:7)

He knows your weaknesses and exploits with half-truths.
("Did God really say, 'You must not eat from any tree in the garden'?" Ge 3:1)

He wants you down, depressed, sad and deflated.
(The enemy pursues me, he crushes me to the ground; he makes me dwell in darkness like those long dead. Ps 143:3)

He wants you dead.
(Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 1Pet.5:8)

In adoption, there is loss and redemption.
There is pain and there is joy.

I am not discounting the difficulties along the way, or negating the grief that our children deal with. Those things are very real.
What I AM saying is that orphans are close to God's heart.
He cares for them.
He cares for the lost, the lonely, the desolate, the depressed, the unworthy and the unloved.
God has a plan for their lives just like He does for my life and for yours.
You may be part of that plan- or a part of the plan of those who are making them their children.

I have said it before, but when you step out in obedience to God, you engage the Enemy.

He comes to steal, kill and destroy.
He is the father of lies.
He is sly and he is charming.
His lies look like truths that came from your own thoughts.
He steals trust, faith and belief.

Step out in obedience to God in an adoption...
you might as well set off a flare letting him know where you live.

He does NOT want children in Jesus-loving families.
He wants them to feel unloved and to believe that they are unworthy.
He wants them to be angry at God for making promises such as "I will not leave you as orphans... I will come to you".
He wants them to stay waiting in an orphanage somewhere with no hope.

So what does this look like?
How can you begin to prepare?

Be ready and expecting the attack.

Appliances will go out,
cars will suddenly need expensive repairs,
you will get a bill you weren't expecting.
He attacks your finances because it affects your trust that God will provide the needed money to bring your children home.

Be in prayer.

You and your spouse will suddenly be irritated by every little thing the other one does.
The kids will forget all their manners and maybe even get in trouble at school.
Your friends will leave or betray you and your family will seem distant.
He attacks those around you to make you doubt that you can handle the changes coming your way. He wants you down and depressed so you can make big decisions in that frame of mind.

Ask friends and family to pray for you too.
You won't catch every flaming arrow shot your direction.

Some will be direct hits when you weren't expecting it.
A phone call that brings you to your knees...
Sudden changes or bad news from your agency...
A job crisis or financial hit.

Pray for strength, wisdom and fierce resolve.
In the middle of the storm threatening your family, your marriage, your children...
do not be afraid to get ANGRY.
YOU. CAN. NOT. HAVE. MY. FAMILY!!
The Bible is clear that we have the power within us to resist Satan.
("So place yourselves under God's authority. Resist the devil, and he will run away from you." James 4:7)

Be strong and courageous, identify it for what it is, and be encouraged that if you weren't on the right track, you wouldn't be drawing any attention from those who would thwart those plans.
("Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." Josh 1:9)

And make sure you journal your experiences.
Someday you will look back on this and see a very clear picture of God's divine protection and providence in your life!

*Edited to say:
Here's what we have been facing at the Injera and Chocolate Gravy household, within the past 2 weeks:

Blown Air Conditioner Compressor on the big van
Power Steering went out on the other van
Door to the house from the garage that needs to be taken off and repaired because if "shifted" somehow
Shower leaking onto the kitchen table
Washing Machine leaking... still trying to figure out that repair
Oldest child with a concussion from a skateboard accident
#5 to the radiologist for a hurt foot that looked broken
Arguing spouses
Defiant children
Friendships tested
Schools not working with us on placement

Therefore, we must be doing something right.

Blessings to everyone who has shared this post, shared their hearts through email and comments, supported and encouraged others with these thoughts...

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." (Eph 3:20: )

Would you be one of my 5?

2011-08-23T06:56:00.000-05:00

guest blogger: Sarah Lenssen from Ask5for5
photos courtesy of Cate Turton / Dept. for International Development

First, thanks to for allowing me to post on her blog today! Today, 25 bloggers, including this one, are standing with me to Ask 5 for 5 for Africa. Here's why....

I began pursuing a BIG dream two weeks ago. After deciding I could no longer avoid the news about the famine in the horn of Africa, I had that gut feeling that I couldn't sit this one out. I HAD to do something because I could. Something bigger than I could do alone.

Two of my children, Ashen and Bereket, were adopted and are from the region affected by the drought in Ethiopia. They would be two of the statistics if they still lived there. I see my son’s and daughter’s faces in the photos of those suffering in the refugee camps. It could have been him. It could have been her. The thought haunts me.

And moms just like us are watching their children go hungry day after day. I can't imagine what it's like, but I have to –I have to be there to help them, because it could have been my children. These families have lost their livestock, their crops, food prices are inflated at the market if there any food there, and don’t have any more lifelines to tap into. Many are traveling hundreds of miles through parched land in hope of finding help. Many are dying along the way. It is estimated that 29,000 children have died in the last 90 days in the famine in Somalia alone.

But I KNOW we can do something about it. Instead of feeling overwhelmed and paralyzed, we can rally ourselves and our friends to respond! I set up a fundraiser through See Your Impact. 100% of your gift will go to the relief and development organization World Vision, where it will be combined with government grants to multiply up to 5 times in impact!

You’ll receive updates on just how your funding is being used to help save lives affected by famine in East Africa. I'm amazed at how much we've raised already -- over $7,000 in just four days! We blew through our first 3 goals in just 3 days and are well on our way to $10,000 and beyond!

I need you to help me save lives. It's so so simple; here's what you need to do:

Donate $5 or more on this page (http://seeyourimpact.org/members/ask5for5)
Send an email to your friends and ask them to join us.
Share Ask5for5 on Facebook to stay updated too!

I'm also looking for 100 bloggers to stand with Ask5for5 to spread the word during Social Media week, September 19th - 23rd. If you're interested, email me, ask5for5@gmail.com.

Thanks! Please donate and email your friends right now--don't wait for a calmer moment, because if you're like me, other demands inevitably crop up and you won't get to it. A child's life hangs in the balance, but you can help save her!

My first baby.

2011-08-19T15:16:00.000-05:00

My first baby.

8lbs, 2 ounces

of adorable perfection.

He was the one that first

called me

"Mommy"

and the first to teach me about

really super fun stuff like

colic,

pacifiers,

cloth diapers,

then not,

onesies,

footsie pajamas,

how far shattered glass can travel...

And he was wonderful.

Today he turns 15...

which makes me

well...

sad, but proud.

That sweet baby boy is a big kid now.

He started High School this year.

He is reading the Driver's Handbook.

He is taking on more responsibilities,

hoping for a job,

and saving for a car.

But I still see him like this:

Which makes it hard to say things like:

"sure you can go take your driver's permit test."

But he's such a good kid...

all the parents tell me how respectful he is,

how much they just love him,

and how he is welcome in their homes any time.

I'm very proud of who he is becoming,

the values he lives by,

and the choices he makes.

He's still my baby boy...

even at 15.

Did I mention he's a great big brother, too??

I love you, kiddo!!

I hope you have had a wonderful birthday!!

Love,

Mom

Sad mommy day...

2011-08-18T08:23:00.000-05:00

1st day jitters

2011-08-16T13:48:00.001-05:00

I'm sure you know how it is.
I don't need to describe this in full detail...
but I will anyway.
Because it's my blog and I can write whatever I want.
So, there!

The first day of Kindergarten.
Can't sleep the night before...
tummy all in knots...
disinterested in breakfast...
making sure the hair is just right...
getting all the supplies ready WAY ahead of time...
feeling like you might cry or puke, or both...
Wanting to turn around and go home as soon as you arrive to school...

And I'm sure the girls were nervous too... on some level.
Because THAT was ALL ME.
This morning.
The first day of Kindergarten.

Oh, just punch me in the stomach next time instead, okay? Ugh...
It's painful!

So here is what I would say to my girls:
(if they were all mushy and sappy like me... and if I could complete a grown up thought without being interrupted a hundred times to explain what I mean.)

Sweet precious baby girls,
Oh my goodness I am so proud of you!!
You have been super excited to start school! You are so excited to become "big girls" like your older sisters and incredibly ready to ride the bus to school.

But, babies... I'm just not ready!! As I fixed your hair and helped pick out your clothes, I just kept thinking about how no one had better be mean to my girls. Oh, woe to the bully that calls you a mean name or refuses to play a game with you because they took a look at your gorgeous selves and just decided they didn't want to be around you.

It's just not fair that I've had you for just one short year and now that season has just abruptly come to a stop. I remember those days this time last year when you would wait for the bus to bring your brothers and sisters home and I remember thinking it was so cute how you wanted to go to school too... but now that day is here and I am just so sad that the days go by as fast as they do!

I walked you to your classrooms today, as slowly as I could, and helped you unpack your supplies - but you didn't really need much help. I helped you pick out a seat, next to a girl who looked really nice and friendly... but you didn't need me to lift you into your chair or help you open your crayons. You ARE big girls now and no matter how sad I am today, I am SO proud of you!! You have grown so much this year! You have learned so much more than a whole new language - you have learned to be a part of a family, to be little sisters and to have friends. I know you are ready for school, sweet babies... it's just me that's not ready. Mommies usually get 5 or 6 years to be ready, and I only got one. So if you see some little tears in my eyes while I am smiling and listening to how much you love your class and how nice your teacher is... Mommy is gonna be okay. It's just hard to watch my sweet babies getting big faster than I can keep up.

I love you, girls...
I just know you are going to be AWESOME Kindergarteners!
Love,
Mommy

Thirty ONEderful flavors, and three questions.

2011-08-09T19:49:00.000-05:00

My Granny tells the story of coming to visit my family and taking my sister and I to get ice cream when we were very small... probably 2 and 4 or so.
It goes something like this...

"We would walk down to the ice cream shop for a treat with both you girls about once a week. We would walk in the doors and Melissa would point and say "bubblegum!" or "pink!" almost immediately. But NOT Chrissy! Oh no sir! Chrissy was having a come apart trying to decide what flavor to get! 'I don't KNOOOOOWWW which one to GET! I can't decideeeeee!!!!"
(In my defense... they have like 15 different types of chocolate.)

The story gets more dramatic depending on who is retelling it... but it almost always ends with me crying and throwing myself on the ground in an apparent fit of utter confusion and indecisiveness.

This is not an uncommon theme in my life.

Paper or plastic? (Kill a tree or choke a dolphin??? How do I choose between those two?? Where are all those reusable bags I have?? I know I have them... oh, wait... that's where I keep the unmatched socks! Grr! I hate matching socks....ughhh.... fine...PLASTIC!)

Naming our children was always a major months-long conversation where as my hubby would have just gone all George Foreman on them and named everyone Paul.

What's for breakfast? What's for lunch? I don't know, what do YOU want?

I tend towards indecisiveness.

So, one day in a rare clouds-parting, angels singing the hallelujah chorus kind of a moment...
I decided that there HAD to be a way to weigh out those important decisions in life.
You know... the ones that actually matter??
Adoption comes to mind... but then, that's me.

One day a few years ago when we were seriously trying to make a decision about a major change I was just about begging God for an email or even an Priority Overnight delivered letter just spelling it out for us!!

That's when the cloud-parting experience took place.

And I believe He gave me a fool-proof check list... just for me... but that I will share with you!

1. Can you back it up with Scripture.
Now, I'm not saying it's okay to go through the Bible and pull out one little verse and say you have Scripture backing your plans up. That's just wrong on a LOT of levels. But if your decision would mesh with a theme in scripture - say, loving your neighbor, giving to others, caring for people, taking care of your family... then you can check this one off with a YES.

2. When you pray about the situation, do you feel peace with your decision?
Again, this has to be between you and Him because you KNOW if you are feeling at peace about something and no one else is going to be able to determine this one for you. However, if you are honestly seeking to make the most wise choice for yourself and your family, you will earnestly seek wisdom from the Lord and listen for the peace He gives you in your circumstance.

3. Would it please Jesus?
This is the fail-safe in the plan. You know what would please the Lord and what would not. You know in your heart because you feel it and you just know that you know.

Here's the reason why I think these questions work:
It involves each aspect of the Trinity.
God the Father through His Word, The Holy Spirit through prayer and waiting for peace (fruit of the spirit), and Jesus - by seeking to please Him!

It's not a magic trick... but it really helps my hubby and I to decipher Good from BEST in our family and in our decisions.

Try it some time...
you may be surprised!

525,600 minutes

2011-08-03T21:30:00.000-05:00

That's the amount of time since we got home from Ethiopia with our babies!

Well... approximately.

That's one full year.

Can you believe it?

I know it seems like yesterday to me sometimes...

like today.

Meeting their new sister!!

Waltz down memory lane by going up to my Most Popular Posts tab and reading our travel journal,

Or... you can just skip to the photos!

September 2009....

March 2010...

August 2010...

And Summer 2011....

playing dress-up with her sisters!

Then there's #6...

September 2009---

March 2010....

August 2010....

<---ignore super tired Mommy

And Summer 2011....

And then there's the baby boy!

September 2009

March 2010...

August 2010....

<---such a cheese ball!

Summer 2011...

Oh, my babies...

I am just so happy you are OURS!!

Happy Family Day!!

I love you super big!

Love,

Mommy

Ethiopian adoptions

2011-08-02T11:50:00.000-05:00

This is one of those rambling posts that's meant for someone out there reading it...
and I don't know who...
so humor me.
;)

Have you heard this?

"There's no way I would adopt from Ethiopia right now. It's too scary."
Yeah, *I* said it.

And you know what else I said?

"I would not adopt from Ethiopia again because I could never trust my agency, the process, or the ethics surrounding my child's relinquishment."

But here's the problem with these statements.

There are still children there who need families.
There are still good agencies out there who advocate for the children FIRST.
There are still many, many children out there who are truly orphaned, and who truly have no other hope than international adoption.

How can you tell one from the other?

Well, here's where it gets sticky.
I believe with my whole entire heart that if you pray fervently about this decision, you will NOT be led astray. I just believe it.

But then,
I am a Jesus-follower.
I believe He is who He says He is.
I believe that He guides our steps and lights our paths if we seek Him.
I also believe it doesn't always look the way we think it will.
I also believe there are plenty of families out there who are also Jesus-followers who have had HORRIBLE experiences in their lives, with their adoptions, with their families, with whatever.
We aren't God's quarterbacks... we get tackled by the world's crap all the time.

But...
Here's what I do know.
If you feel the Lord calling your heart to Africa,
and you know your family qualifies for Ethiopia,
and you would adopt from there "if ____ was different",
and you are letting fear drive your heart...
then you aren't listening to the still small voice within you, guiding you, and gently prodding your heart to just
Let Go.
Trust.
Breathe.
Have Faith.
Fall back into the arms of safety.
Believe.
Know.

For those of you caught up in the junk right now - closures, transfers, paperwork messes, deception and worse...
I pray that you are able to feel some peace today.
Know that the powers at work over that type of chaos are NOT the powers that control this world.
I've seen it before and I KNOW that I know that I know that anything is possible.
And sometimes you get disappointed.
But He is still very, very good.

So, please... make an informed, educated decision... don't allow fear to control your life.
Be wise, use your God-given intelligence to make a good decision, but sometimes where He points you makes NO sense to the rest of the world.
And that's okay too.

I know they wonder what's up.

2011-07-28T09:32:00.000-05:00

So, we were at the pool yesterday...
(don't all my stories start like that lately? Eh, whatever... it's summer!)
and I was sitting in the shallow part with #5 and baby boy.
They were "swimming" all around, jumping on my back, generally having fun.

My mom calls me a "kid magnet" so I generally don't notice when some random small person begins to invade my space.

Well, this really cute little bug in a pale green and white paisley swimsuit with long blonde hair and GIANT goggles comes over to hang out near us... then she says...

"Is THAT your DAUGHTER?"
and points to #5 - who is face down in the water, flailing and unwittingly freaking the lifeguards out.
"Yes, she is!" I replied.

Eyebrows raised, looking confused, she accuses...
"But... she's BLACK!!"

(at this point... I was too surprised to be offended, besides she was like 5 years old and probably unfamiliar with any non-white people.)

"Yep...she is! Isn't it cool??", I replied.

She mumbled something under her giant goggles and hung out nearby while I acknowledged several "dives", "floats" and "hey mom, watch!" shouts.

Then she says "Are you sure? She looks like she belongs with THEM over THERE..." and points at a black family nearby.

Seriously. She did! I know! Me too! I was like, ooooh girl...

Then baby boy jumps on my back and says "Mommy! Watch!"

(insert completely mind-blown small child here.)

"Is THAT your SON??" she accuses. Again.

"Yes... he is my son! Isn't he cute?" I replied. Getting slightly amused with myself at this point.

"But..."
I cut her off by telling baby boy to stop drinking salt water.
It's a good colon cleanser, in case you are wondering... but that's not awesome at the pool.

Then... my favorite part...
#4 swims over... he's slightly tanned from 2 months of outdoor play... but nowhere near the espresso shade of the littles.
"Hey mom! Watch me do a flip under the water!"

Her poor little brain couldn't take it!
She tilted her head, looked confused...
and swam away.

I, of course, started laughing...

So, what do you think?
Did I handle it well?
I didn't feel like segregating my children into "adopted" vs "non-adopted", or whatever... for the sake of her learning process. I didn't think getting into the reasons why my children look like they do would be good for them to overhear, even if it might make her a less-offensive little girl in the future. We just wanted to swim and play and do flips and ~~puke salt water~~ have fun... but not launch into an adoption education spiel with a very young, obviously un-diversified little girl.

And the rest of the pool evening was uneventful!

Say WHAT?

2011-07-21T11:24:00.000-05:00

I have good news and bad news.

The good news is... more children are being adopted who wouldn't otherwise have a family, and more communities are becoming diversified when families bring their children home!

The bad news is... strangers are still allowed to speak since we haven't created a "people remote" with a "mute" button yet.

Why is this blog-worthy, you ask?

Well, none of us wants to be the one to ask the lady when she's due... only to find out she's not pregnant.
None of us wants to say to the lady next to us at the playground "Sheesh... doesn't that kid have parents?!" only to find out that lady is the mom.

We don't WANT to offend people unnecessarily, at least MOST of us don't go around trying to tick people off.

Thus, I give to you...

Chrissy's Average Person's Guide to Positive Adoption Lingo!

Or CAPGPAL, for short... ha ha!

My only question-asking rule:

If you don't know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that your statement will not offend, hurt or otherwise harm the other person... make sure you ask permission to ask the question,

and make sure the kids are NO WHERE around.

I can handle just about any crass comments thrown my way...

but I don't want you saying them in front of ANY of my children.

Now... for the real stuff.

Instead of:

"Hey... did you get those kids from Africa?"

Try this:

"Gorgeous kiddos! Are you an adoptive family?"

(Why? "get those kids" implies we took a vacation and brought home souvenirs. It demoralizes my children, the adoption process, and assumes all black children are from Africa. Many are from your own county, you know. They could have been adopted from Foster Care, they may be neighbor kids, they may be Haitian. You just don't know.)

Instead of:

"Do you have any REAL children?"

Try:

"Is this your whole family?"

Why? Because you may get some smarty pants like me who would probably say,

"No, just these 7 imaginary ones."

(Caveat: This is SUPER touchy. I wouldn't just blurt out to a stranger anything about "real kids" or "kids of your own". What if they struggled with infertility for a decade first? What if their first child died? What if they have 4 homemade kids at home and your question is overheard by a struggling adopted child who already feels different and strange and like a mis-fit. It may just be the dagger to their heart they didn't need today.)

Instead of:

"Woah... you guys must be RICH! You adopted THREE kids??"

Try:

Shutting up.

Seriously. Use duct tape if you must.

Adoption IS expensive, but we feel that the Lord provided the funds when we needed it through yard sales, t-shirt sales, family and friends donations, and grants I spent hours and hours preparing.

AND... unless you want me to ask you what your net worth is...

just don't ask.

Instead of:

"Those kids are SO lucky you SAVED them!"

Try:

"What a lucky mom you are to have so many children!"

"I bet they are such a huge blessing to YOU!"
(because it's true. They aren't the lucky ones. Their part in the adoption process was built through loss and grief. OUR role in the process was the lucky part. The kids lost their first family, their home, their language, their culture, their favorite foods, their familiar sounds and smells...

WE gained three wonderful children. WE are the lucky ones.)

Instead of:

"When did you get them?"

Try:

"How long have you been a family?"

Why? They aren't a disease, or a purchase. We didn't GET them. This is also why I don't like the term "gotcha day" that the majority of adoptive families use for the day they took custody. It's parent-focused instead of child-focused. A child may call it "the-day-I-finally-lost-everything-I-knew" which, to ME, doesn't seem like something I would want to celebrate.

We will celebrate our Family Day on August 3rd.

We took custody July 26th. It will likely pass without notice.

Instead of:

"What happened to their real parents?"

Try:

Yeah, there's no reason anyone outside of a child's inner circle should need to know this.

If you are curious as to what makes children orphans, go go0gle some humanitarian aid non-profits in Africa. Try Compassion International, or World Relief...

Just research it on your own.

FYI... in order for a child to be internationally adopted into the USA, they must have either lost both parents or one parent and the other can not possibly provide for them. That's the legality of it.

Instead of:

"Why would her parents give her away?"

Try:

(see above)

Children aren't GIVEN AWAY. Their parents sacrificed first, no matter the country the child is from, to give their child hope and a future. Parents in the worst possible conditions who fear for their child's life, or when both parents die, they have no other options. It's not like they just wanted to go party every night and the kid was cramping their style.

Instead of:

"Yeah, I heard of this one lady who adopted this boy and he wound up killing their dog and then..."

Try:

For real??

Why don't you go tell bother someone else.

Go tell a pregnant woman some labor horror stories,

or tell the nearest 4 year old there's no Santa.

Sheesh. NO ONE wants to hear your horror stories.

Besides, we know more horror stories than you do.

We could scare the crap out of you with our friends' stories, if you like.

Instead of:

"What if they want to go back to their real parents when they are older?"

Try:

(not that it's any of your business...)

"Have you made plans for a birth parent search when they are older?"

Why? Ultimately, it's up to them when they get old enough if they want to contact any relatives.

We will have that information available for them when they are mature enough to handle it.

Don't worry.

Instead of:

"These are Chrissy's adopted children..."

Try:

These are Chrissy's children.

Why? Anyone with functioning eyeballs can see that my kids are different colors.

However, I don't go around introducing which ones were unplanned, which ones are below-average readers, or any other type of qualifier. How would you like to be introduced as

"This is my constantly-complaining-about-her-husband friend, so and so."

Qualifiers. They stink. Don't talk about people with qualifiers.

Instead of:

"...is/are adopted..."

Try:

"...was adopted..."

Why? My kids WERE adopted, but now they are just my kids.

They don't have a disease called "adopted".

It's not who they are, it's merely how they entered our family.

See? That wasn't so hard, was it?

It just requires a mental turn-around from the prior way people thought about

adoption and children in general, to a more compassionate, child-focused way

to discuss them and their status in our family.

Try harder.

Or just keep your thoughts and questions to yourself.

And start a blog so you can talk out loud to yourself.

Update, mid-summer, on the bucket list!

2011-07-19T00:02:00.000-05:00

A while back I posted a list of things I'd like to do with the kids before school starts back in August.
How are we doing, you ask?
(Okay... you didn't ask...)

~~Go strawberry picking~~ We picked $60 worth. Yeah. I didn't realize how many lbs an Easter basket could hold.
Go blueberry picking (not yet. I'm trying to find a local place that doesn't charge a billion bucks since there are 7 of them and one wallet!)
Go peach picking (See above)
Make jams and assorted frozen fruits after picking them (kinda done-ish. I made strawberry jam!)
~~Picnic at the pool~~
Visit a waterfall (We have one nearby that would be okay, but the mosquitoes have been horrible...)
~~Catch lightening bugs (aka fireflies)~~
~~Sprinkler on the trampoline (aka "jump-o-lene" to the littles)~~
Go spend a day with Granny (Not yet..soon!)
Make BLT's with my heirloom tomatoes once they grow and ripen (If they EVER grow big and ripen!!!)
Can stuff...other than jam (so far my potted garden isn't producing anything... sad.)
Go camping
Visit a lake "beach" here in TN for a day trip (Feeling unmotivated to do this...)
Grill artichokes
~~Make exercising a habit (almost 3 weeks into a jogging/running training program now!)~~
Take more photos with my good camera
~~Plan for the August/September birthday boom in advance!~~ (kinda done... we have thoughts and some plans!)
~~Bug Jamey to death to make me nap mats for the girls to take to Kindergarten!~~(I'm calling it done... I may make them myself to save her the stress/sanity!!)
~~Host a fire pit Smore making evening with our new neighbors~~ We had them over July4th!
Plan Christmas gifts that I can (and will actually) make (Um... babycakes, new body wash and lip stuff sounds good...)
~~Grill dinner LOTS of times~~ We've made great use of the smoker we saved from going to the neighbors' trash!
~~Ice cream for dinner, outside, on the deck~~ Okay, so it wasn't on the deck, but the flies are AWFUL and make outside eating NO fun!

So... as you can see... I still have some stuff to do!

Other fun things we have done that weren't on my list:

Went to see Cars 2
We've been to the pool a billion times
Shaving cream on the patio table
Tons of soap bubbles in the kiddie pool

What kind of fun are you having this summer with the kids?

Anything you have done that you think is an absolute must-do?

10 things I do (or don't do) to make my life a little easier.

2011-07-16T22:49:00.002-05:00

I (still for whatever reason) have people tell me how I must be SOOOooooOOOOooo patient...
or that I must be SOOOoooOOOooo organized...
or that I must be on some form of medication...
just because I can keep track of 7 kids while my hubby travels a great portion of the week, and not wind up on the news, in jail, or being hauled away by men in white jackets.

Uh huh... the 4 of you who actually KNOW me are laughing because:
A. You never know if you WILL see me on the news.
B. You have the men in white jackets on speed dial.
C. Jail sounds an awful lot like a spa vacation some days.

Well, truth is...
I have a few "tricks" ("cheats" actually) that help (in my opinion) A LOT when you have more kids than hands.

1. (this is where the FlyLady will have a coronary) Stop obsessing about the floors/walls/whatever being spotless while the kids are ~~little~~ still living at home. Know why? It is a NEVER ENDING CYCLE. You will wipe those handprints today, and probably again within the next 48-72 hours. Or... if you don't wipe them today... you'll probably wipe them in the next 48-72 hours. See where I'm going with this? Don't beat yourself up because you close the door to a kids' bedroom when company is coming over instead of making yourself nuts either forcing him/her/them to clean or WORSE - doing it yourself. If company shows up unexpectedly... a trick I learned from my grandmother... pull the vacuum out, plug it in and have it in hand when you answer the door. "Whew! If you stopped by an hour from now, you'd get the "after" shot!" AND... might I add... ANY friend who would stop by unexpectedly when you have multiple littles at home deserves whatever goo they happen to step into.

2. Figure out what your kids WILL eat without MUCH complaining and feed it to them. Yeah, yeah, yeah.. I hear you with your food pyramid/plate thingy... I know you are pureeing beets to put into your muffins...WHATEVER. Do what works when you need something that works! My kids eat cheeri0s (generic brand bought in bulk), 6-week muffins ala Family Feasts for $75 a week by Mary Ostyn, pancakes, or oatmeal PRETTY MUCH every.single.day for breakfast. I throw some eggs in there every once in awhile... but they fuss and moan and part of each serving winds up in the dog bowl... so I figure, I will catch them up at another meal. I know what you are saying... "But Chrissy, my kids would eat mac and cheese every day, for lunch AND dinner and I just can't do that!!" Breathe.... first of all, I'm not saying become a short-order chef. I'm all for kids trying things that are new, but don't "die on that hill". There are a few battles with children that you will NEVER be able to win by force: eating, when they fall asleep, and potty training. So just RELAX a little. Kids taste buds are less mature than adults anyway, then add to that the whole new-texture thing and it's a disaster waiting to happen if you decide to do snails for dinner.

3. If you are a stay-at-home mom, by all means... try staying mostly at home. Sheesh. I know some SAHM's who rack up more miles than the UPS guy. Why do you do that to yourself? Find a day when you can run errands with either no kids or less kids in tow, and get them ALL done that day. Hire a teenager to just ride around with you and sit in the car with the kids while you run in to the post office, dry cleaners, and all the other places you need to run in for 5 seconds. It's WELL worth $10 and a Value Meal in my opinion not to have to un-buckle and re-buckle 800 times just to run a few errands.

4. I don't make beds. There. I said it. I just don't. Maybe someday this will become important to me... but for the past (almost) 35 years, it hasn't hit my important-o-meter.

5. I don't bathe my littles every night. I count playing in the sprinkler as a decent rinse-off after a hot summer day. I have an extensive hair-care routine with the littlest three and the bigger four can wash themselves... so I do group baths with the littles probably once a week, but I can assembly line wash them in the shower in less than 10 minutes. Hmm... which do I choose more often... hmmm...

6. I pay every.single.bill online. I hate stamps, I hate needing to mail bills and not knowing what checks are "out there". So I pay everything online. I have one Dr. bill I keep forgetting to pay... and ya know why? I have to mail the payment. They don't even do checks or debit cards over the PHONE! Ugh. The nerve.

7. I don't have guilt about not being Martha Stewart. I don't. I'm not going to grow and/or harvest/grind/sift my wheat in order to make bread that's as fresh as it can possibly be. I buy bread when it's 10/$10 (I do buy wheat...even if it's just colored brown with food dye... humor me) and I freeze loaves. I don't try to make all my kids clothes, I don't darn socks or patch knee holes. Sure... I'd like to do some crafty stuff here and there, but I am not going to EVER compare my house to a magazine spread and start feeling guilty because we have fur and toys and socks and whatever-the-heck-else-someone-left-on-the-floor instead of handmade throw pillows made from leftover men's neckties and stuffed with recycled dryer lint. Nope.

8. I don't cloth diaper. Granted, baby boy is (please, Lord) nearing the end of his diaper/potty training escapades... but seriously?? I tried it. I was miserable. It created more laundry and more stress and I HATED it. Sorry, green-police... but there's a disposable diaper landfill somewhere with my name on it.

9. Laundry. Okay... My big 3 can do their own laundry. The older two can do the whole thing, but I start the washer for #3's clothes. She can do the dryer and they can all fold and put away. #4 shares a room/laundry bin with baby boy, so I wash all their stuff together and fold it then send it back to his room to sit in those baskets until I lose my mind and go lecture about how much easier it would be to find socks if they were in a drawer instead of at the bottom of a stack of shirts. The little 3 of course, I wash their stuff. I recently started taking hubby's stuff - almost all of his shirts and all work pants- to the dry cleaners. It's just a good thing. I HATE to iron. HATE it. I hate laundry in general, but I especially detest ironing. He hates it when I hang up shirts without ironing them, so the alternative was a giant pile of shirts folded in half in a basket near the ironing board, which I also hated. So, the dry cleaner is a marriage AND time saver. Win/Win.

10. I try, try, try to go to bed with an empty kitchen sink and the coffee pre-set to start at 5:45am. For the MOST part, that's the time the first of the littles wakes up 7 days a week. Coffee brewing in the kitchen seems to make it less painful to drag my sleepy butt out of bed and down the stairs at 6am on a Saturday. The empty sink just makes me happy. It means this day is over and we start fresh tomorrow. I hate soaking dishes or if I forget to run the dishwasher after lunch and all the dinner stuff won't fit... I wind up doing dishes at 6am because it makes me crazy, and THAT is not fun.

Okay... that's me...
Any confessions on stuff YOU just DON'T do?
Any additional tips for me??

Well, no wonder we were arguing.

2011-07-09T11:15:00.000-05:00

While I was cooking dinner this week, the little two girls were sitting at the kitchen counter.
We were talking about animals and what kind of sounds they make.

Me: "What does a doggy say?"

Them: "Ruff! Ruff!!"

Me: "What about... a monkey!"

5: "We has monkeys in E-topia!"

Me: "Really? What do they say?"

Girls: "ooo-ooo-eee-eee-aaa-aaaa!"

Me: "What about goats?"

5: "Nooooo! We don't have goats in E-topia!!!"

Me: "What?? Yes there are... I saw LOTS of goats in Ethiopia!"

5: "No... no we didn't!"

Me: "Um... yes you did. We saw goats EVERYwhere!"

5: "They were in our house??"

Me: "They were in some people's houses... did you have goats at your house in Ethiopia?"

5: "Noooooo!!! They scare me!!"

Me: "Goats don't scare you... remember you saw them at the zoo! You weren't scared."

5: "No! They don't have goats at the zoo!!"

Me: (tired of arguing...with a 5 year old...) "Okay... fine. What do goats say?"

5: "ooooooooOOOOOOOooooooOOOOOOOoooooooo!!"

Me: (huh??)

wait for it...

wait for it...

wait for it...

Me: "OH! Noooo, Not GHOSTS... goats! Like 'maaah maaah maaaaaaaah!'!!"

Injera and Chocolate Gravy

The Adoption = Pregnancy fallacy

Light and Breezy...DIY laundry soap.

Separation.

Photos and Words.

Laundry by the dozen

A dream realized

Ewedeshalo, Ethiopia!

Hi from Germany!

The day we were tarred and feathered with blessings!

Updating our story!

...and that's when I started to cry.

10 for 10 (or : "But what can *I* do?")

Why I've been quiet...

Moving right along

30 Days of Thanks: Day 30

30 Days of Thanks: Day 29

30 Days of Thanks: Day 28

30 Days of Thanks: Day 27

30 Days of Thanks: Day 26

30 Days of Thanks: Day 25

30 Days of Thanks: Day 24

30 Days of Thanks: Day 23

30 Days of Thanks: Day 22

30 Days of Thanks: Day 21

30 Days of Thanks: Day 20

30 Days of Thanks: Day 19

30 Days of Thanks - Day 18

30 Days of Thanks: Day 17

30 Days of Thanks: Day 16

30 Days of Thanks: Day 15

30 Days of Thanks: Day 14

30 Days of Thanks: Day 13

30 Days of Thanks: Day 12

30 Days of Thanks: Day 11

30 Days of Thanks: Day 10

30 Days of Thanks: Day 9

30 Days of Thanks: Day 8

30 Days of Thanks: Day 7

30 Days of Thanks: Day 6

30 Days of Thanks: Day 5

30 Days of Thanks: Day 4

30 Days of Thanks: Day 3

30 Days of Thanks - Day 2

30 Days of Thanks: Day 1

The Christmas Plan

My baby turned 3!

A Month of Thankful Hearts!

Don't you just love a good fortune cookie?

The story

Fireflies

Help turn mourning into joy

My birthday weekend of fun!

She's 10!

But ALL the other kids...

Crrrr shhhhcrrrr krackle krackle crrrrrr

little boxes

another good option to help with the African food crisis

attacked.

Would you be one of my 5?

My first baby.

Sad mommy day...

1st day jitters

Thirty ONEderful flavors, and three questions.

525,600 minutes

Ethiopian adoptions

I know they wonder what's up.

Say WHAT?

Update, mid-summer, on the bucket list!

10 things I do (or don't do) to make my life a little easier.

Well, no wonder we were arguing.

10 for 10 (or : "But what can I do?")